It's Jim
by montez
Summary: Brotherhood AU. Will visits from the past help Jim survive for the future? sorry bad summary,hope you give it a chance anyway.
1. Chapter 1

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 1  
Disclaimer: Winchesters created by Eric Kripke, Brotherhood created by Ridley. Love them both for letting us play with their boys! Hope you enjoy.

Mid-November in Kentucky can either break records for the temperature being too hot or too cold. But every so often you get what would be considered a perfect fall day. That is what Pastor Jim Murphy woke up to today. The sun rose beautifully through the trees, painting pinks and blues with wisps' of clouds streaked white through the watercolor sky. The air was just this side of cold when he awoke, he liked to have his back door open allowing the air to flow through the house, he liked the cold when it was just comfortable enough that he could wear his favorite sweater that his late wife Emma had given him on their last Christmas together. Some would call him sentimental and he would agree; it had been nearly twenty-five years since his wife passed and he missed her everyday.

Jim took his coffee out to swing on the screened in porch, he could recall mornings when the two of them would drag the handmade quilt that his mother had given them for a wedding gift out there and they would sit, watching the sunrise. They were only married six years before a congenital heart condition took her too soon. They never had children, but they made the most of the time they had. Jim had come back from a war bitter and somehow Emma was able to find the lost man that was still inside the former sniper. It was with her he had found God and through God his calling as a Pastor. That, ironically, led him to the Brotherhood of which he was now the leader, the Guardian.

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It was after Emma's death and his retreat into his bitterness that Jim was 'saved' again by the Senior Pastor of the New Haven church Jim now led. Jim had secluded himself to his farm, away from the church, away from his friends, he had never loved someone as much as he loved Emma, he began feeling like there was nothing left for him to live for. Yes, he was a man of the cloth, a man who, until his wife died, had unwavering faith. However he again became that bitter man who had returned from a war where too many ghost still haunted him, now it was Emma's face that haunted him.

Jim had been a hell raiser in his youth and had never been one to turn down a good time, but with war those good times turned into trying to numb what he was trained to do, what he had done. His wife had changed that man, but once she was gone he returned with a vengeance. Jim would drink himself into unconsciousness only to start over again when he could walk to the kitchen and retrieve another bottle. One night changed that, he had been drinking all day for who knows how many days straight, he had been wondering around the house and farm screaming at God, blaming God. During one of his tirades he had wondered to close to the pond and fell off the small dock, hitting his head as he fell. He awoke hours later, in the middle of the night, soaking wet in the grass next to the dock, as he looked around trying to get his bearings he saw a figure sitting a few feet from him, he inhaled sharply as he realized it was his wife.

"Emma?" Jim struggled to sit up, not sure how he had gotten where he was, running his hand through his hair the hurting man winced, pulling his hand from the tender spot he noticed blood on the tips of his fingers in the moonlight.

"Oh, Jim, what is happening to you?" the figure of his dead wife asked. Tears coming to his eye's as her voice sounded as sweet as the last time he had heard it.

Trying to stand, Jim stumbled his way toward the spot the woman sat. "You left me. God Emma, I've missed you." drunkenly he dropped to his knees in front of her.

"I've missed you too. Jim this is not what I wanted for you, you're stronger than this." tilting her head she took in the disheveled man before her, barely recognizing the man she loved more than anything.

Tears streaming down his face, his voice broke with emotion as he spoke, "You were my strength, I'm lost without you. I don't want to live without you."

"Jim…" The vision of Emma reached for the distraught man before her, gently touching his face. Jim immediately gripped her hand, feeling warmth he hadn't felt for so many months. "You don't mean that, you have always been stronger than you gave yourself credit for, to have survived what you have, your strength was always there, I just helped you find it again, God helped you find it again, don't turn your back on that."

The pain in Jim's voice caused a tear to fall from Emma's eyes, "God shouldn't have taken you from me, what good is He if he gives me an Angel to save me, then cruelly steals her away?"

"God didn't steal me away; we knew all along what could happen." She ran her other hand over his hair, holding his face now with both hands.

"I wasn't ready…" He whispered.

"We never are, but we deal with the challenges life gives us, we grow stronger from them. God doesn't abandon us, we abandon Him. You will find your way back and all you have been through will prepare you for what lies ahead. You will need your faith in God for that. I will always be with you Jim and I will always love you, but greater things are at work that need you. When everything seems to be coming against you, it will be your faith that will save you, that will save others. They need you now Jim, don't deny others because of your pain, it will help you help them." Jim closed his eye's at Emma's words, letting her wisdom filter through his intoxicated mind, to his heart. In his heart he knew she was right, she was always right. He felt her place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

Opening his eye's Jim found himself alone next to the dock, "Emma?" He whispered out as his emotions took over, falling face-first on the cold, wet earth, Jim cried himself into unconsciousness.

Jim awoke to a brighter sky and someone turning him over, placing a hand to his neck, "Jim…are you with me young man?" The younger man knew that voice, blinking cautiously at the brightness, the face of his friend and Senior Pastor Solomon O'Shaughnessy came blurrily into view.

"Solomon?" Jim attempted to sit up, but as soon as he moved bile rose in his throat, turning quickly Jim threw up. Rubbing circles on the younger man's back, Pastor Solomon waited patiently for his young assistant Pastor to regain his composure. Dragging his hand across his mouth Jim looked at the older man, "Sorry."

"Yes you are young man, the sorriest I've seen in quite some time. Let's get you inside and cleaned up, then I'll look at that nasty gash you have on the side of your head." Pastor Solomon helped Jim back to the house, then up the stairs, leaving the hung-over man to clean himself up. The elder pastor then went downstairs and started tossing out the numerous bottles that lay about in the kitchen, finally uncovering the coffeemaker in the mess. Adding an extra scoop, making it strong, Solomon sat at the table awaiting his devastated friend.

Jim descended the back stairs near the kitchen with a monster headache. Entering the kitchen the smell of coffee assaulted his senses, causing his stomach to roll. Making his way to the table Jim sat heavily, his eye's not meeting the Senior Pastor's for fear of seeing disappointment there. With the scoot of a chair the older man got up, retrieving a cup of black coffee and a bottle of aspirin, placing them next to the younger man.

Popping a couple of the pills and taking a drink of the coffee, Jim welcomed the pain as the hot liquid burned his throat on the way down, finally glancing up when his mentor cleared his throat. "You scared me young man and at my age, that isn't a good thing. When I pulled in the drive and saw the state of this place, then seeing you lying out by the pond, I feared the worst."

The older man watched his Junior Pastor, though Jim hadn't been to the church since his wife's death he was still considered the Junior Pastor, Jim looked at his friend through blood-shot eye's, "I'm sorry."

The older man chuckled, "Yes, I think we established that out by the pond, but now what do you plan on doing with yourself?"

Confusion crossed Jim's face as he stared at Solomon, "What?"

Standing the elder Pastor found another half-empty bottle and proceeded to throw it away with the other's he had found. "I said…" turning to lean against the counter, the man continued, "what do you plan on doing with yourself? Are you going to drink yourself to death or are you going to pull yourself out of this despair and continue on the path that God and your Emma helped place you on?"

Jim took another long drink of his coffee then quietly spoke, "Solomon, do you believe in ghost?"

Unnoticed by Jim the slightest flicker of concern overtook the older man, as he looked around the room. "Why do you ask?"

Placing the mug down Jim turned in his chair to face the older man, "I saw Emma last night, out by the pond."

Trying to not give anything away Solomon crossed back to the chair, sitting down. "Jim, by the looks of this place you've been drinking more than anything lately, it was probably some alcohol induced dream."

Shaking his head the younger man ran his hand through his hair as he stood and started pacing, "No…no it wasn't a dream. I saw her, heard her speak…Solomon, I felt her touch, it was Emma, I know it." the pleading in the pale blue eyes' of the hurting man in front of him gave Solomon pause. He could see the pain that the young Pastor had been in the last months, but he saw a spark of hope as well. Jim was, in the apparent spirit of his lost love, finding a light at the end of the long tunnel of grief that had consumed him.

"What did she say?" Solomon asked.

"She told me I was stronger than this. She said to stop being angry with God, that God doesn't abandon us, we abandon Him…" Taking a breath he continued, "She told me this would make me stronger for what lies ahead. What did she mean by that?"

Solomon did his best to hold his expression neutral, what Jim was saying sounded so familiar as he recalled a conversation that the older man had with a dear friend of his. Clearing his throat Solomon spoke, "I can only guess, but it could mean that with every trial we go through we become stronger for it. Your life experiences will help you to help others. Jim you must remember, with everything that Emma ever went through, even toward the end, she never once blamed God for what was happening. She spoke to me a few weeks before and she told me her only fear was leaving you." Jim met his friends eye's as he felt tears invade his own, "She always knew you were a strong man, even when you didn't think it yourself, she had faith in you, she knew that you could and would make it through this time and that it would make you stronger. For such a young woman she had an old soul, she could see beyond what was happening, she could see the bigger picture. You will overcome this, you are not alone Jim, you never have been and you will be able to use your experience, your pains, fears and doubts to help so many others and she knew that and if it was her that you saw, then she just needed to remind you of that."

Jim rubbed his hands over his face, taking a shaking breath, "I miss her so much…"

Solomon stepped near the younger man, "You always will Jim, but it will get easier. It will never go away, but it will get easier and always remember how much she loved you, that will help." taking the last step the elder Pastor wrapped his arms around the broken man before him and again Jim cried for his loss.

After a few minutes the younger man pulled back, walking over to the sink, splashing water in his face. Solomon handed him a towel. Taking a deep breath Jim looked at his mentor, "Well, do I still have a position?"

Smiling slightly the Senior Pastor spoke, "Well, first I think you need a few nights of good rest, then…" Solomon motioned around the room, "I'm not the best housekeeper, but I don't think a Junior Pastor's house should smell like a bar." Jim ducked his head, "I've had several inquiries about your wellbeing, I believe a few of the older woman of our congregation would be willing to offer their services if you need some help getting this place back into some order."

"I don't think it would give a good impression." Jim was now clearly becoming embarrassed by the state he had let his home, Emma's home, fall into.

"Trust me Jim, they would understand, but the offer is still there. Then I want you to take a few days, get your head on straight. I have a friend I'd like to introduce you too, he may be able to help you get through some of this and to help you get some understanding behind the timing of Emma's visit." Solomon watched as Jim looked a little taken aback.

"You want me to see a shrink first?" The older Pastor saw hurt flash in the younger man's eyes.

"He's not a shrink, but he is someone who can relate to some of what you're going through. Trust me Jim I think you could learn a lot from him." Resolve crossed the young Pastor's face.

If it would help him get his feet under him again Jim would take his Senior Pastor's advice. "What's this friend's name?"

"Julian Smith."

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Recalling the memory from so many years ago, knowing where the initial meeting of Julian Smith, who turned out to be the Guardian of the Brotherhood, had brought him and knowing from experiences since then it wasn't Emma he had seen that night, but the Lady who is counsel to the Guardian. It was ironic how everything had worked out. Loosing Emma had broken his heart, but had led him to a place where he had met people who helped put that shattered heart back together, though there would always be a portion that would never be whole and that solely belonged to his beloved Emma.

Jim finished his coffee then grabbed his coat from the hook near the door. He did have a farm to take care of, a couple of horses that still resided in the barn, a few ducks that were permanent residents of the place as well as getting enough wood chopped to get through the winter. With Thanksgiving a week and a half away Jim also started planning his meal. As he moved about the farm, Scout his faithful canine companion following, he thought about who would and wouldn't be coming to the farm for Thanksgiving. Mackland had promised to be there, he had been unable to visit as much as he would have liked, with his neurosurgeon status as well as his Scholar responsibilities, travel to Kentucky had been limited the last several months.

Caleb had called last week to let him know that both he and Dean would be making it. The two best friends had been hunting together since Sam had left for college. Sadly that was one person Jim knew wouldn't be coming for the holidays. When the youngest Winchester had defied his father and left for school it caused a break in the close family which included Jim, Mackland and Caleb. However it was the affect on his older brother Dean that had worried everyone. Well everyone except the boys father John, who, lost in his own despair of rejection, had overlooked the pain his eldest was in. Sam had been Dean's life, since the night the boys father placed the baby Sam into four-year old Dean's arms, ordering him out of their burning home, Dean had practically raised his little brother while their father sought vengeance for his wife's death.

It was after Dean had gotten hurt in a hunt neither Winchester had a right to be on, Jim used his Guardian authority and brought Dean to the farm to recoup, then Jim paired Caleb and Dean up on hunts, allowing those who could see the young man's pain to watch out for him.

John was another person Jim didn't see coming to the farm, John, though being the Knight of the Brotherhood, had nearly dropped off the map. He had called a few times, checking in with the Guardian, as he would say. Jim knew John was pissed with him for stepping in to 'protect' Dean from his father. The elder Winchester had a strict command and didn't like anyone telling him what to do, especially when it came to his children. What John didn't see was that his children weren't 'children' anymore, but grown men and where John had a near iron-clad control over Dean; Sam had walked away from it, sending the older man into a tailspin that he had yet recovered from.

The Pastor thought of a few other's who might make an appearance; Bobby Singer, mechanic/hunter who worked closely with the Triad. And Joshua Sawyer, a crafter, as he liked to be called, a wizard according to what Caleb and Dean who liked to annoy the older man. Through Joshua's youth his involvement with the Triad was limited by his status seeking father, but as Joshua grew older he had begun working closer with the current Triad as well as with Caleb and Dean. A relationship that Jim knew in the long run would benefit the younger generation of hunters.

It was around noon when Jim finished the chores he had designated for himself that day, he went in for a quick lunch and to check to see if he had any messages either from members of his congregation or from the hunters he was responsible for. Surprisingly it was turning out to be a very rare day where Jim would possible have the entire day completely to himself. After cleaning up the few dishes he had left from the morning, Jim decided he would do something he had wanted to do for a while, but hadn't had the time. He would take a walk to the little ridge where he had planted a tree for Emma on the one year anniversary of her death. It was a little area they had discovered after buying the property, one day while they were exploring the woods that encompassed it, he and Emma had come upon a ridge that overlooked a small valley. She had fallen in love with the spot the moment she had seen it. They would take many picnics at that spot and sadly it was there she had asked him to take her when she felt her time was short.

After his months of his alcohol hazed grief, Jim had gone and planted a Maple tree at the spot and on the rare occasion he would get the chance he would head out there, to think and remember. He had a few hours before it started to get dark and knew it wouldn't be an issue being back before then, so with Scout by his side, carrying a thermos of coffee and his hunting rifle over his shoulder, the area was known for coyotes, he set off on his walk.

A/N: As you may have guessed this story will focus around Pastor Jim Murphy as he is known in the Brotherhood AU. There are a couple of the stories I pulled past references about Jim from. Hope the authors don't mind, a few others are just ones I thought might add a little more to Jim's past without taking away from the man we've come to know and love in the Brotherhood.  
-Solomon O'Shaughnessy was referenced from Ridley's-Gone but Not Forgotten story. It's been a while since I read that one, but took a chance that Solomon knew Julian Smith, thus the introduction.  
-Julian Smith, former Guardian before Jim, referenced in Ridley's-Paper Tiger  
-the idea that Jim may have been a military sniper also came from a Ridley story-On the Wings of a Phoenix  
I took Jim's wife's name from the many references in different stories to Miss Emma's china, when someone would bang on the kitchen table and rattle the dishes.  
This was the stage setter, story will start picking up, it's still a WIP, but I know what I want to do, so please bear with me and I hope you enjoy.-Montez


	2. Chapter 2

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 2  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

"Damn it Damien, you used all the hot water!" Dean's mumbled voice came through the closed bathroom door.

A loud laugh echoed in the room as Caleb yelled back, "Privileges of being the senior hunter, first shower."

The door banged open as Dean emerged, clad only in his jeans, towel draped around his shoulder as he ran it roughly over his short cropped hair. "Wounded should get first call."

Caleb stood grabbing his boots from next to the door, "Wounded my ass, it was a scratch. I can't help you couldn't get out of the way of the play dishes that the poltergeist started throwing." Their latest hunt had been a poltergeist at a local Daycare. When the children started getting items thrown at them by unseen forces the place had been shut-down, but unfortunately for the two hunters it seemed all the little rug rat's playthings had been left in the building, giving the angered spirit an unending supply of ammunition to hurl at them as they tried to cleanse the place, though Caleb did find it amusing when Dean was getting pummeled by all the baby dolls.

Dean couldn't help but chuckle himself, "Who would have thought those little plastic dishes could hurt so much?" Caleb tossed Dean the first aid kit, the small gash wasn't too bad, but it still stung. Digging in the kit the younger hunter pulled out the antibiotic ointment and the box of bandages, disbelief crossed Dean's face as he held the box up, "Seriously Dude, princess bandages?"

Again the older hunter laughed as he watched Dean place a couple little pink bandages across the gash on his upper arm. "Pink's your color Deuce." All hint of laughter left Caleb's face, his forehead pinching as he brought his hand to the side of his head, "Shit" he growled out, sitting heavily on the bed he had just stood from, "Deuce…"

Dean looked up as his nickname was whispered out by his best friend, "Shit, Damien?" abandoning the kit the young man made his way quickly to the psychic's side. He reached, grabbing the older man's shoulders as he went to fall forward off the bed, Dean allowed Caleb's head to rest on his shoulder as the vision overtook the hunters mind.

_The woods were familiar; John had taken them on numerous maneuvers through these very woods when they were kids, but this trail was one Caleb had only been on a couple of times. Over the years Jim had allowed them access to every inch of his property except the ridge that was the back border. He had only said it was a special place to his wife and that he'd appreciate it if John would keep his 'war games' away from it. John knowing how it felt to loose the love of your life obliged the Pastors request. The only times the boys had ever been there were the few times Jim would take them on walks, each of the boys had loved the view of the valley below._

_It was that view that Caleb was taking in now, he turned as he saw Scout break through the edge of the tree line, the dog stopping about ten feet from the edge of the twenty-five foot drop off. As the psychic watched Jim came out onto the ledge, next to the canine. "still beautiful" Caleb heard Jim whisper as the older man turned and walked toward the Maple tree that still held some of it's red leaves making it stand out against the majority of bare trees that had already lost all their leaves for winter. The young man watched as the Pastor gently laid his hand against the bark of the tree, closing his eyes, "I miss you everyday" again the older man whispered as he turned back toward where Scout sat. Patting the dog's head the Pastor walked past her, standing on the very edge of the drop-off. Jim took a deep-breath, adjusting his rifle then he unscrewed the lid to the thermos and took a drink. Looking up at the sky as it was taking on the bright orange of late afternoon Jim looked at Scout, "we better be heading back ole girl." The dog yelped in reply as Jim took one last look out over the valley, illuminated by the late day sun; as he turned to go, Jim misjudged how close he was to the edge. Caleb felt his heart jump into his throat as he watched Jim drop his thermos as his foot slipped off the ridge. The older man fell hard as he started to slip over the edge. The psychic watched as Scout raced over toward her master, grabbing a hold of the man's sleeve. The Pastor slipped further as he was unable to get a firm grip on the rocky ledge. Then Caleb watched in slow motion as the last hold Jim had slipped away, his sleeve tearing out of Scout's mouth as the dog started barking feverously, the hunter watched as Jim fell back from the ledge, disappearing into the canopy of trees below. "NOOOO!"_

"NOOOO!" Caleb's abrupt yell caught Dean off guard as his friend lurked backward from his grip, the psychic's breath coming out in short gasps.

"Hey man, take it easy, breathe…" Dean took a hold of Caleb's face as he seemed unable to focus, "Damien…look at me, man you need to breathe."

Dean's face swam into view as the image of Jim falling was burned into the older hunters mind, "Jim!"

Nearly all the color left Dean's face at the name the escaped his friends mouth, "What?!"

Caleb ran his hands roughly over his eyes as he tried to stand, Dean coming to his feet to steady the older man, "We gotta go, now!" Caleb started racing around the room, gathering his things, throwing them into his bag.

"Slow down Damien, what about Jim? What happened?" Dean caught the shirt Caleb threw at him as the distraught man started gathering Dean's things as well. "Caleb!"

The use of his name stopped Caleb's motion a moment as tear-filled eyes turned to meet his friend. Dean took a step back as the pain in his friend's eyes registered; he took another step back when the hunter came to stop in front of him. "He fell off that ridge where Emma's tree is. We have to go." Sitting to put his boots on he glanced at the younger man.

"He's not…" Dean couldn't even bring himself to say it. It was unthinkable to think of Pastor Jim Murphy hurt let alone dead.

"I don't think so, I think I would feel that connection break, but we need to get there, no one will know where to look, we have to get there now." Dean finally started moving around the room.

"We're three hours away, is anyone else closer?" Dean finished getting his own boots on and was doing a last look around the room before grabbing his leather jacket as he following Caleb out the door.

Opening the trunk of the Impala they quickly threw their gear inside then climbed into the large vehicle, "We're it Deuce, so you better be showing me all eight that this cars got."

Silence filled the car as Dean pealed from the parking lot, quickly finding the interstate 65 south sign, knowing that would take them into Elizabethtown, then from there into New Haven and to Jim.

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Jim woke to the sound of distant barking, he knew it was Scout, but couldn't understand why it sounded to far off as the dog had been walking with him. Not knowing why he was on his back Jim tried to sit himself up, "urrrrrrrrrrrrrrh!" he cried out as pain finally registered, nearly stealing his breath. Quickly abandoning that idea the Pastor decided to lie still and try to take inventory of the injuries he didn't recall receiving. Okay, breathing was ragged as he seemed unable to catch his breath from his yell, which could indicate broken ribs, he silently prayed it wasn't a punctured lung, but as he wasn't yet tasting blood in his mouth he held on to that little bit of hope. "Okay Jim let's check our arms." he whispered to himself as he slowly began to move his extremities, "left arm okay, right arm definitely busted" he gritted out as it lay limply at his side. "Okay now, let's try our legs." again pain shot through his body at the abuse it was feeling as he tried to test his legs, neither of which was he able to move. However, he did take some comfort, if that was possible in this situation, that he could feel the pain from the lower part of his body as the agony of trying to move made its self known. As the pain receded dark spots started playing around the edge of his vision as he finally focused at what was above him. It was then as those black spots came together that Jim realized what had happened, "Oh God." he whispered out as his last thought came to him, _"I fell off the ridge."_

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"Son of a bitch, of all the times to hit traffic…" Dean slammed his hand on the steering wheel as they seemed to be inching along the interstate. They had hit a backup just south of the Cedar Grove Road exit, still several miles from the exit they needed.

"Just head down the emergency lane, Clermont exit is the next one; we can get to New Haven from there." Caleb grabbed the dash as Dean jerked the massive vehicle into the far right lane and started speeding down the emergency lane to the sound of angry honks as he flew past stopped traffic. They knew of several ways to get to Jim's after years of coming to the farm from different directions, using endless back roads, so as the exit came into view Dean shot up the ramp, not stopping at the light as he turned left speeding down Hwy. 245.

Silence filled the car for several minutes as the sparse traffic was welcome after the bumper to bumper they had run into. "Can you still feel him?" Dean didn't want the answer to that question, but felt the need to ask. Caleb would have reacted someway if the connection to the Pastor was lost.

Caleb rubbed his head, as a headache that started with the vision continued to build in intensity. "Barely, but it's still there. We just need to get there Deuce." the older hunters voice trailing off as he continued to focus on keeping an open link to Jim.

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The next time Jim opened his eyes it was dark and he could feel the cold starting to seep into his body. The pain was now dulled by the dropping temperature and thinking he could at least sit up Jim tried again only for the same reaction as pain flared through his chest, "Damn it" He whispered out. Cursing wasn't something anyone heard much of from the Preacher, but on the few occasions that it seemed it was the only language appropriate it would slip out. Closing his eyes, Jim tried to breath through the pain, willing himself to not fall asleep again. His eye's snapped open at the sound of a familiar voice.

"I'd say young man that here I am finding you again in a sorry state." Jim's head turned toward the voice as the friendly face of his former mentor came into view.

"Solomon?" It had been a few years since the Senior Pastor that Jim had worked with had passed away.

"Good to see you haven't forgotten me, now how did you end up in this mess my boy?" The figure sat down on a nearby log watching the injured man.

"I'm not sure…" Jim took in a ragged breath, "I was on the ridge, next thing I wake up down here." the younger man's eyes took on a lost look, "Solomon, nobody knows I'm here."

The specter could hear the fear that the Pastor was trying so hard to hide. The figure moved a little closer as he reached out to touch Jim's shoulder. With everything Jim had experienced, seen and learned about since being introduced to the Brotherhood, he surprised himself when he didn't feel threatened by the Ghost next to him as he felt an unexpected warm touch on his arm. "Someone knows and they are trying to get to you as we speak. So you better hold on young man or you will hurt those who care about you the most."

"Who?" Jim felt a cough coming as pained flared through his body again. Panic filled the Pastor as for the first time he could taste the unmistakable coppery taste of blood, "Solomon?" this time fear filled the hurting man's voice as he knew he was getting worse.

"Jim, you need to stay calm, I promise you help is coming. Those boys of yours are coming." Solomon placed a phantom hand on Jim's head.

"Caleb?" realization dawned on Jim that it was entirely possible that Caleb could have had a vision of his accident. Then that realization turned to sorrow at the thought of the young man again witnessing someone he cared about being hurt.

Solomon nodded at the name of the younger hunter, "Yes, Caleb and Dean are on their way, so you better hold on for those boys, you know what you mean to them, what this would do to them." Jim closed his eyes at the thought of what this was doing to Caleb, to have seen his accident, but to know the guilt both of the boys would feel if they didn't reach him in time, he knew it could possibly destroy the boys and thus the future of the Brotherhood. "You've always been stronger than you thought, hold on to that strength." the voice faded out as the Pastor opened his eyes to find himself alone again.

"Solomon?" Jim whispered, again feeling alone and if he would admit it, scared. However, Solomon and Emma both had always told him he was stronger than he believed himself to be, so again as darkness started to encroach his vision his thought turned to Caleb and Dean. The two he knew were coming for him and with his last conscious thought he whispered, "I'll hold on."

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"Jim?" Caleb startled as Jim's voice filled his mind.

The panic filled voice of Dean filtered into the echo of Jim's words, "What? Damien, What?"

Caleb rubbed his hands roughly across his face as he turned to face his friend, "We need to hurry, Deuce."

Swallowing hard as he refocused on the road Dean whispered, "He's not…you didn't loose the connection did you?"

Looking back out the window at the passing scenery, in the fading light, Caleb answered. "No, he said he'd hold on."


	3. Chapter 3

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 3  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Darkness had settled over the farm as the Impala fishtailed down the drive, sliding to a stop next to the house. Any other time Jim would have been out the door admonishing the boys for the reckless entrance, but each knew that wouldn't happen tonight. Caleb ran toward the house as Dean opened the trunk to retrieve some of their gear. "I'm gonna call for help then we're going to find him." He shouted as he stormed through the back door.

Dean started filling an empty duffle with an extra blanket, along with the first aid kit, rope and flashlights. As an afterthought he grabbed a flare gun that lay near the bag, shoving it in as he zipped it closed. Caleb met him at the trunk, grabbing one of the flashlights as the compartment was slammed shut. Turning, the boys took off toward the woods. "Help is coming, they said it would take time to get Search and Rescue mobilized, but they should be out here within the hour." Caleb relayed as they ran.

Hitting the tree line, each flipped on the flashlight, running flawlessly through the woods they knew as well as they knew the inside of the house. The hunters had been running for about fifteen minutes when the sound of a gunshot echoed across the farm, bring them both to a halt. "Damien?" Dean whispered.

"I still got him…" Caleb answered as he took off again, Dean close behind.

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The sound of something approaching from the underbrush caused Jim to start awake, a harsh cough as well a renewed coppery taste greeted his return to consciousness. The rustling drew his attention off to his left, a crouched shape drew closer. In the darkness the Pastor could just make out the lanky form of a coyote, as it stopped to sniff the air about twenty feet away, the older man could hear Scout barking in the distance again. Jim remembered he'd had his hunting rifle with him, hoping it survived the fall, he started to slowly move his left hand around the ground next to him, sending up a silent prayer of thanks when his hands found the smooth wooden stock. Wrapping his fingers around the strap he was able to slowly pull the weapon closer with minimal movement. Inching his hand down the firearm he finally got his finger onto the trigger, his hope was to scare off the animal as he shifted the barrel slightly and squeezed the trigger. Shutting his eye's as the loud noise sounded over the valley, not helping the pounding in his head. Once the sound faded Jim looked toward the spot the coyote had been and was thankful it was no longer visible.

A few minutes passed as the Pastor tried to take slow, even breaths, praying he wouldn't trigger another round of coughing. He felt his heart rate increase at the sound of Scout's barking again, as well as the sound of small pebbles falling from the above ridge. He felt himself smile slightly at the voice that echoed down from the ledge. "JIM!…JIM! Can you hear me?!" Caleb's shout gave the hurting man hope that he would, indeed, get out of this mess alive.

-------------------------

A few minutes after the echo of the gunshot faded, the boys broke through the tree line near the ridge, Scout greeting them with her incessant barking. "Hush Scout," Caleb ordered the dog, which surprisingly listened. The older hunter watched as Dean reached down and picked up Jim's thermos. Quickly making his way to the edge of the drop off, Caleb attempted to shine his light into the darkness, "JIM!…JIM! Can you hear me?!"

"Caleb." If they hadn't been straining to listen, both hunters would have missed the barely audible reply from below. Each man sharing a relieved look that, for the moment, Jim was conscious. They turned and quickly started looking for a way down.

"Hang on Jim, we're coming." Caleb shouted back. When silence greeted them, the tried not to think of what could be happening.

Tying the rope around Emma's Maple Caleb made his way over the ledge first, followed closely by Dean. As soon as Caleb's feet hit the ground the hunter started searching the underbrush for his friend, his breath caught in his throat, as he heard Dean's sharp intake behind him, as the beam from the flashlight fell across the pale form of Pastor Jim.

Racing to the injured man, Caleb dropped on one side as Dean came down on the other, the older hunter reached a shaking hand toward the Pastor's neck, jumping as a weak grip took his arm, "Solomon said you were coming." Jim whispered as his eyes opened slowly, trying to give Caleb's fear-filled gaze some reassurance. Dean met Caleb's quick glance as the hurting Pastor's weak voice continued between ragged breaths, "Sorry Son, wish you hadn't seen this."

Caleb laid a gentle hand on Jim's head, "I'm not, how else would we have been able to find you. Now just take it easy and breathe while we look you over, okay." Jim's eyes started to drift shut, "JIM!" Caleb gently squeezed the Preacher's shoulder, "I need you to stay awake for me, can you tell me where it hurts?"

Unfocused eye's opened again, "Can't move my legs…" Jim saw fear flash in Caleb's face, "but can fell the pain… right arm busted, left okay…hurts to breathe…" Jim felt a cough coming; as he tried to turn the pain again overtook him.

Afraid to move him too much Dean and Caleb felt helpless as the Pastor struggled to bring in air, it was then that Dean's flashlight caught a hint of red around Jim's mouth. "Damien?" The young hunter's shaking voice brought Caleb's attention to the lit area.

"Damn it." Caleb whispered as he took the blanket Dean had pulled from the duffle, quickly draping it over Jim. They each shed their coats, also placing them on the Pastor, as tremors shook the older man's body. Caleb took the end of his sleeve and gently wiped the blood from Jim's mouth as the Guardian took in another ragged breath.

In the distance the sound from the blades of a helicopter were heard, signaling that Search and Rescue had made it to the farm and were now looking for the injured man. Dean quickly reached into the duffle retrieving the flare gun, holding it up he pulled the trigger as the bright red flare streaked across the sky. Caleb looked at his best friend, "Good thinking Deuce."

"I have my moments." The younger man smirked as their attention turned back to the now quiet man between them.

Caleb leaned down toward Jim, taking his hand. "Help's coming Jim, just hang on a bit longer and we'll get you out of these woods."

The Pastor opened his eyes to meet the golden eyes of the young hunter next to him; he tried to give a reassuring smile. "Never doubted… a minute…'ve always trusted…you…" Panic filled Caleb as Jim's words began to slur, the feeling reaching a crescendo when Jim's eyes slid shut and his grip went lax.

"JIM!…" the young man reached toward the unconscious man's neck, taking a shaky breath when a faint pulse was found, looking up Caleb meet the anxious eye's of his friend, "He's still alive." At that moment spotlights flooded the area from the ridge above, as the draft for the helicopter finally hit them, help had arrived.


	4. Chapter 4

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 4  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Caleb and Dean watched as two firefighters repelled down from the above ledge, not leaving Jim's side until rescue workers reached him. They stood by as Jim was placed in a collar, then gently rolled for the placement of the backboard. At the shout of "Basket coming down!" they turned as the lift basket that Jim was going to be strapped into was lowered to the waiting medics. Caleb grabbed the basket, unhooking it from the line, he laid it beside his unconscious friend, "Thanks" one of the EMTs remarked as they continued to ready Jim for transport. "We're going to air lift out and take him into Louisville; they have a trauma center there."

"Can I go with him?" Caleb asked as he watched the men lift the Pastor into the basket, securing the straps that would hold him in as the helicopter lifted him out.

"I'm sorry, they are going to take him straight in, he'll be going to University." The EMT finished with the last strap as his partner placed the oxygen tank between the injured man's legs, radioing to the chopper to start pulling him up. Dean and Caleb watched as Jim Murphy was lifted toward the emergency chopper above them, as soon as the basket was pulled into the helicopter they turned to start back up the rope they'd come down.

The Rescuers watched as the two men made their way back up the ridge without gear, a firefighter at the top helping Dean and Caleb over the lip. Leaving the rope for later, the two took off through the woods, Scout close behind. Reaching the house, Caleb got the dog into the barn and met Dean who had all ready pulled the Impala into the yard, since emergency vehicles filled the drive. Caleb jumped in as Dean again kicked up gravel and dust, making his way back out to the main road, this time heading into Louisville.

"We need to call Mac and Johnny." Caleb broke the silence as he pulled out his cell, hitting the speed dial that would connect him to his father.

Caleb felt some relief when he heard his dad's voice, "Caleb, you all right son?" Leave it to Mac to pick up on his anxiety before he even spoke.

"Dad we need you to get to Louisville as soon as you can, it's Jim." a lump formed in the younger man's throat as the images of the vision intermingled with the images of the pale form of the Pastor they had found.

"What happened?" The hunter could hear his father moving around the apartment, knowing his dad was grabbing his needed items, ready to make the drive to the airport where Caleb's grandfather, Cullen, had a private jet that could be ready in thirty minutes.

Caleb rubbed his hand over his face as he answered his father's question. "I had a vision, Dad. The ridge at the back of Jim's property, where he planted Emma's tree, somehow he slipped and went over the edge."

"Oh God." Caleb heard silence as he could picture his father running his hand over his face, "Son is he…"

Trying to keep his tone neutral Caleb cleared his throat of emotion, "He was alive when they air-lifted him out." The slamming of a door and ding of an elevator was heard in the background as the younger man knew his father was heading to the airport.

"Are they taking him to University?" Mac asked as he could be heard telling the doormen he needed a cab.

"Yeah Dad, Dean and I are headed there right now." Caleb glanced at the white-knuckled grip Dean had on the steering wheel.

"I'll be there in a couple hours Son, call me when you find out anything. Are you calling John?" Caleb could hear Mac telling the cab driver to take him to the airport.

"I'm gonna try Dad, but you know how hard he has been to get a hold of, look I'll see you when you get here, be careful." With a quick goodbye, Caleb disconnected the call as he again looked over at Dean, "Dad should be here in a couple of hours, you want me to call John or do you want to?"

Dean glanced at his best friend from the corner of his eyes, "You better, I've only been able to get his voice mail, he might not answer for me." The eldest Winchester son knew his father had been upset when Jim had taken him back to the farm to recover after a bad hunt and in true John Winchester fashion he had stopped talking with his oldest son for what he saw as rebellion in the ranks, especially after what Sam had done.

Both men jumped as the phone in Caleb's hand rang, looking at the ID Caleb whispered, "I'll be damn," he answered the phone, "Johnny?"

The gruff hunter's voice came loud across the phone, so much so that Dean could clearly hear his dad, "Junior, how close are you to Kentucky? I can't get a hold of Jim."

Puzzled looks were exchanged between the two younger hunters as Caleb answered, "I was just going to call you; look Johnny you need to get to Louisville ASAP, Jim's been hurt."

Caleb could make out the muffled curses the older man was mumbling, "I knew something was wrong…what happened?" The sound of John's truck starting in the background was heard as the psychic again recalled what happened, "Okay Junior, I'm about six hours away, you call me if anything changes. You call Mac?"

"Yeah, he should be here in the next couple hours." Caleb spoke as emotion wanted to take over, but the older hunter fought it.

"Look kid, he's gonna be okay, this is Jim we're talking about." Shock and maybe a hint of panic settled in the younger man's gut as he seemed to be hearing words of comfort from the last person he expected.

"Who you trying to convince Johnny, me or yourself?" Tears filled the psychic's eyes as he could hear a nervous cough as well as a wash of fear from the man he was on the phone with.

"Yeah, well." John whispered as the line went dead, Caleb closed his phone.

Dean broke the silence, "How did Dad know about Jim?"

Running his hand through his hair Caleb looked out the front window as the Louisville exits started to come into view, "Maybe it's that whole Knight thing, I don't know." Quiet filled the car as Dean took the Brook Street exit.

It took longer than they liked to find a parking place in the garage, once parking; they raced toward the stairs, forgoing the elevator. They barely noticed the security guard stand as they rushed up to the desk in the emergency department. It was Caleb that spoke, "Jim Murphy, he was airlifted in from New Haven"

It seemed like an eternity before the woman was able to bring up the information on the computer, she glanced up at the two dirty, disheveled men in front of her, "Are you family?"

"He's our uncle, now please; can you tell us where he is, if he's still alive?" The pleading in Caleb's voice must have touched the woman behind the desk, she saw so many people come and go through the emergency department that she'd have to be heartless to not pickup on the emotions of the people who passed through and though she could normally block out those feelings, something about these lost looking men before her made her heart clinch. "He was taken into emergency surgery when he arrived. If you give me a minute I'll get the attending who worked with him before he was taken up." The woman quickly stood, disappearing through the treatment doors.

Within a few moments she reemerged with a doctor. The man extended his hand as he approached the two hunters, "I'm Dr. Williams, you're Mr. Murphy's nephews?"

"Pastor Murphy, Jim's a Pastor in New Haven." Dean couldn't help himself correcting the doctor, though it wasn't important what they called Jim as long as they kept him alive. "Can you just tell us how he's doing?"

"Pastor Murphy has been taken up to surgery; he has some internal bleeding, several broken ribs, one of which punctured a lung, as well as a severe concussion." The doctor paused, watching as the men before him paled at the mentioned injuries. Unfortunately he needed to continue, "His right arm was broken in two places, near the shoulder and the lower forearm, his right hip was dislocated and his left femur was broken."

Caleb had to step away as he rubbed his hand over his face, "Son of a bitch" the young man whispered out. Dean just stood there, shell-shocked.

Dr. Williams cleared his throat as Caleb looked back at him, "Please tell there isn't more?"

With a subtle nod the doctor added, "Your Uncle was also hypothermic when he arrived, he barely had a pulse, we had to hook him to a ventilator as well."

Dean spoke quietly, "What floor is surgery on?" The young hunter felt a need to be near Jim, even if it was the waiting room outside of surgery.

"Fourth floor." Dr. Williams said as he watched both men move toward the elevator.


	5. Chapter 5

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 5  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Exiting onto the fourth floor the two men jogged toward the nurse's station just outside the hallway leading to surgery. Caleb again was the one to speak first, "Jim Murphy, Dr. Williams said he was brought up to surgery."

With a few key strokes the young woman brought up the Pastor's info, "Yes, Mr. Murphy was taken into surgery about 45 minutes ago."

"Do you know how long it will take, when we'll know something?" Dean asked.

"I'll inform one of the surgical team someone is here for him, it may take some time before anyone can come out and speak with you, but I'll try and find out how long he may be in there." She gave the exhausted looking men a reassuring smile as she got up to enter the hallway. Each man stepped back from the desk; Caleb started pacing as Dean watched the doorway the woman had disappeared through. A few minutes later the young nurse returned, "Mr. Murphy's surgery is expected to take at least four hours, perhaps more, the surgeon said he would try and send someone out to speak with you as soon as he can."

"Thanks," Caleb mumbled, he turned looking for a courtesy phone, knowing cells were frowned upon in hospitals. Stepping back to the counter when he didn't readily see one, "Can you tell me where a phone is I can call out on?"

"In the back corner of the waiting room." She pointed toward a small, dimly light area about twenty feet from the desk.

Patting the desk Caleb turned, Dean close behind. Entering the waiting room they noticed they were the only ones there, spotting the phone the older hunter headed toward it, "I'm gonna call Mac, then try to get a hold of Johnny."

Dean cleared his throat as Caleb picked up the phone, "Maybe you should wait on Dad, until we know more, he's driving in where Mac is flying. I don't…we don't need him getting himself killed in a wreck getting here when we don't know if…" Dean's voice trailed off as the psychic picked on what the younger man couldn't say, _"If Jim's even gonna make it."_

Placing the phone back down the older man walked back, stopping in front of Dean, Caleb grabbed his shoulders to stop the worried pacing the younger man had started. "Deuce…look at me man…" after a moment the young hunter looked into the golden eyes of his friend, his big brother. "It's Jim, okay. When have we ever seen him give up, hell he's been trying to knock some sense into your old man's head for nearly twenty years. If we've learned anything from him, it's he's no quitter." Caleb watched and felt as emotions rolled off Dean, tears filling the younger man's eyes. Clearing his own emotions from his voice Caleb continued, "I'm scared too, but we have to have faith that Jim's gonna be okay and until we are told different I don't want you thinking anything else."

Running his hand over his face Dean nodded as he felt Caleb pull him into a quick hug. Gripping the back of the upset man's neck the older man gave it a gentle squeeze, "Okay?" Caleb wasn't ashamed at the tears that had also filled his own eyes, once Dean nodded again Caleb let go, "I'm gonna call dad now, why don't you see if you can find us some coffee."

Dean turned, stuffing his hands deep into his jean pockets as he walked back toward the young woman at the desk to inquire where he could find the vending machines. Caleb watched his friend, his little brother walk away, his heart aching at the despair that he was feeling from the younger man, which mingled with his own. He took a deep breath and again reached for the phone, dialing the familiar number to reach his father.

--------------

"Damn," the surgeon mumbled under his breath, "Anyone know how long this guy was out in the elements?" The doctor worked feverously to control the internal bleeding that Jim had; he needed to be careful around the punctured lung as it was two of the older man's ribs that had done the damage.

"According to emergency he had to have been out there at least four maybe five hours before rescue arrived for the degree of hypothermia that set in." one of the nurses reported.

"Get ready to clamp that" the surgeon ordered as he continued, "I honestly don't see how this guy made it that long"

The doctor worked quickly as they removed the rib from the ragged hole it had torn in the Pastor's lung, "Don't see how he was getting enough oxygen." the man mumbled again as the continued to work.

"Doctor I'm loosing blood pressure." Someone shouted as a loud whine was heard in the operating room as the heart monitor flat-lined.

---------------

Jim's eyes opened slowly, blinking several times in the dimly lit room. Sitting up slowly Jim recognized his room at the farm, feeling disoriented he sat on the side of the bed for a minute. Last he remembered he had been laying at the base of back ridge, he could vaguely remember, or at least thought he remembered, Caleb's voice, then the younger man's face swimming in and out of focus. Standing slowly he looked down at himself, surprised he wasn't bandaged and that he was able to stand, he could have sworn he'd at least broken one, if not both of his legs and he remembered not being able to move his right arm. He cautiously rotated his shoulder, "Maybe it was just shock." he mumbled to himself as he worked his way down the hallway toward the bathroom.

Once getting himself cleaned up he headed down the back stairs near the kitchen. He slowed when he heard movement, grabbing the baseball bat that sat near the closet door Jim slowly made his way around the corner. The clatter of the bat as it hit the hardwood floor echoed in the kitchen as he looked at the figure standing near the sink.

"Emma?" The Preacher whispered out.

The deep green eyes he had fallen in love with all those years ago turned to meet his confused gaze as she spoke. "Well it's about time you woke up sleepy head." Jim felt himself sway as he grabbed for the door frame, the image of his wife was quickly by his side, "Jim, are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." She helped him to one of the kitchen chairs.

As he took his seat he whispered to himself, "This can't be happening, the farm is protected, nothing can come onto the property." He turned and looked into the worried gaze of the woman he had missed everyday for the last twenty-five years. "You can't be here, this ground is consecrated." He moved back as his wife reached for him. "No," he stood up, "This isn't real, I'm dreaming or something. I was hurt, I fell off the ridge." Jim wasn't one to get rattled easily, but he couldn't understand what was happening to him. He ran his hand through his graying hair as he again looked at his lost love, "Caleb was there…and Dean, they found me." A terrifying realization dawned on him, "Oh my God…" he whispered as he sat down heavily. "I'm not dead am I? Please tell me I didn't die in front of the boys?"

He felt a soft touch on his forearm as he looked up into the caring eyes of Emma, "No Jim, you're at the hospital now. Those boys are terrified, though they are trying to hide that fear, especially Caleb, that boy cares about you very much. And after everything Dean has been through lately, if it wasn't for Caleb that boy would be in pieces right now." Emma raised her hand to his face, this time he didn't move, but closed his eyes and leaned into the warm touch that he had missed for so long. "Jim, you're in rough shape, sweetheart. I'm here to help you decide."

The Pastor met her sad smile, "Decide what?"

"If you want to stay for them or come home with me." With those words a bright light flashed in Jim's vision as the kitchen and Emma faded from sight.

--------------

"Okay folks we've got him back, let's get a move on and try to keep this man alive." The surgeon went back to working on repairing the lung damage and resetting Jim's broken ribs.


	6. Chapter 6

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 6  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

The boys had been sitting or pacing for the last two hours. During that time Caleb had called Mac and Dean had done a coffee run-twice. No one had come out to give them an update on Jim's condition, but they assumed the old saying that 'no news, is good news' was working in there favor, that and the fact Caleb could still feel the older man.

The quiet of the hallway was broken by the dinging of the elevator, both hunters turned to see Dr. Mackland Ames emerge. Relief showed on both men's faces as the Doctor drew closer, each standing to greet the Scholar. "Dad." Caleb whispered as his father pulled him into a hug.

"Caleb…" releasing his son he turned to Dean, "Dean." also pulling him into a comforting hug. He could only imagine what the boys had gone through, but knew that story would wait. "Have you heard anything yet?" Mac asked stepping back to look in the exhausted faces of the boys in front of him.

Dean and Caleb exchanged looks before Caleb spoke, "Nobody has been…" his words were cut off as he inhaled sharply, grabbing his head and doubling over.

"CALEB!…DAMIEN!" Dean and Mac shouted at the same time as the Doctor grabbed his son before the younger man collapsed to the floor.

With Dean's help they got him down into a chair as the nurse rounded the corner, alerted by loud voices, "Is he all right?" she quickly knelt beside Mac as Caleb continued clutching his head, breathing harshly.

"Just give us a second." Mac spoke not looking at the young woman.

Dean put his hand on her arm, pulling her back, "We'll call you if we need you." Dean didn't mean to sound abrupt, but he couldn't take much more of what was happening with his family. The woman cautiously backed away, hovering at the entrance of the waiting room.

Dean took her place beside Mac, "Damien, come on man…" Pleading eye's looked at Mac, "Mac, what going on?"

"I don't know..." Mac kept a tight hold on his son's shoulders as the younger man was having some difficulty catching his breath and had yet to lower his hands from his head. After a couple of minutes Mac and Dean were becoming anxious, when the younger psychic finally rose up, drawing in a deep breath. "Caleb? Son, you with me?" the Doctor took his son's face in his hands, trying to get the younger man to focus.

It was another long minute before Caleb could speak, "God, Jim…" a vice-like grip filled Dean's and Mac's chest as the dark haired hunter whispered out Jim's name.

"No." Dean quietly said, then louder, "NO!" the younger man went to stand when Caleb grabbed his arm.

Watery, pain-filled eyes met fearful moss-green ones, "For a minute Deuce, but they got him back." Caleb looked at his father's concerned face. "They lost him for a minute Dad, but I felt him come back." Mac pulled his son into another hug, knowing this was one of the things that terrified his son, witnessing the death of another person he loved.

The nurse reentered the room with a cup of water for the young psychic; Mac took it from her with a thank you then placed it in his son's shaking hands. "You okay now?" Mac asked as the boy took a few sips.

"No" The honesty that Mac heard from his son told him just how much the younger man was hurting.

The Doctor stood turning his attention to the deflated figure of Dean, who was sitting in a chair a row over, his head held in his hands. Glancing again at his son, who motioned for him to check on Dean, Mac walked over and sat down next the upset young man. He gently laid his hand on the boys shoulder, feeling minute tremors as the hunter tried to get his emotions under control. Mac took a chance and put his arm around Dean, pulling the boy, he felt was as much his son as Caleb, into a sideways hug, surprised when the young man leaned into him.

The eldest Winchester son had been walking a tightrope of emotion ever since Sam had left the family to go off to college in California. Becoming the brunt of his father's rants that culminated in a hunt that had nearly cost Dean his own life. Mac believed if it hadn't been for Jim stepping in, using his Guardian position for one of the few times with John, and taking Dean back to the farm to recover, then pairing him up with Caleb, who had always tried to watch out for the young man, then they could very well have lost Dean inside himself, much like he had withdrawn when his mother had been killed.

Dean was one of those individuals who played up the tough guy image, just as much as his own son did, but they both shared a quality that some people, mainly John Winchester, could easily manipulate. They cared about others more than themselves and that was something Mac had witnessed John do when he used Sam to keep Dean in line and had used Dean to keep Caleb in line. Glancing at his son, who had his head tilted back, eye's closed, Mac knew that family was all that matter to either boy and neither was very good at handling it when one of their family was hurt.

A few minutes passed when Mac felt Dean shift, he reluctantly released the boys shoulder as the young man got up and walked out of the room. Looking back at his son the Scholar saw that he was watching Dean's exit. "He's going for coffee." Caleb whispered as his gaze met his fathers. "He does that when he starts to get upset."

Mac walked over and took a seat next to his son, "How's your head?"

Tilting his head back again the younger man answered, "Still as fucked up as ever."

The older man reached over and patted his son's arm, Caleb brought his hand up to cover his dad's hand, thankful everyday that Mac had come into his life, that the man had taken in the troubled, smart-ass twelve year old he had found in that psychiatric hospital all those years ago. The Doctor cleared his throat as he spoke, "You want to tell me about the vision?" Caleb's water eye's met his fathers as he took a deep breath, about to relive the horror that was Jim's accident.

----------------

Dean had tried to be strong, but when he heard Jim's name come from Caleb's lips, knowing what it was meaning, he was lucky to have made it to the chair. Then when Mac had come over, silently offering comfort Dean couldn't help himself when he accepted. There had been times in his life he had wished Mac had been his father, when he had seen Mac give Caleb a reassuring pat on the arm, or quick hug in greeting, that was something Dean longed for sometimes. John Winchester wasn't a bad father just not an affectionate one. Once Dean's mother died his father became hardened and Dean found himself hating the older man for it. However, it was the pain of the last year that had set him on a path that would eventually lead him to an emotional breakdown if he wasn't careful. He had felt the want to withdraw from everyone, but it was Jim, Mac and Caleb that wouldn't let him, that watched out for him, even against his father when the elder Winchester didn't see the pain his oldest son was in and now one of those vital links was threatening to break with Jim's accident.

Rubbing his face, Dean pulled a couple of bills from his pocket and attempted to put them into the coffee machine; however his shaking hands weren't helping. "Here let me help you dear." Dean jumped slightly at the older woman's voice, admonishing himself for allowing someone to get that close undetected, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, but you looked like you could use some help." He allowed the woman to remove the bills from his hand, watching as she effortlessly got the machine to accept them, "How do you take it?" her hand hovered over the selection button.

"Black," his voice broke as he cleared his throat, "black's fine, thanks." Dean watched as the hot liquid filled the paper cup. Lifting the cover the older woman retrieved the cup, holding it out for the young man to take. "Thanks." he whispered.

The woman placed a gentle hand on Dean's arm as he looked up into her deep green eyes, "He loves you boys very much, he won't willingly leave you."

Dean felt his heart rate increase as the words registered, "What? Who are you?"

The older woman reached her hand to the young man's face, cupping his cheek. "Someone who loves him dearly and who will wait an eternity for him, because I may have a part of his heart, but you boys have the rest and he isn't ready to give that up yet." With that she turned and walked away, leaving a very confused Dean watching her leave.

As she rounded the corner he shook his head and raced to follow her, "Hey, wait…" the words died on his lips as he was faced with an empty hallway.


	7. Chapter 7

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 7  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Dean returned to the waiting room with a cup of coffee for both Mac and Caleb. Caleb watched his friend as the younger man took a seat across from him, he could sense something was up, "You okay Deuce?" a silent nod was all the psychic received. Dean needed to figure out the woman's cryptic comments on his own, so the three continued to sit in silence.

It was another two hours before anyone emerged from the operating room doors. Two doctors walked into the waiting room to see three very exhausted looking men, each stood as the surgeons entered, "Family of Jim Murphy?"

Mac stepped forward, Caleb and Dean flanking on either side, "Yes, I'm Dr. Mackland Ames; this is my son Caleb and my nephew Dean." Each man exchanged handshakes as the older of the two doctors motioned that they sit.

"I'm Dr. Steven's; this is Dr. Reynolds our Orthopedic Specialist. First I want to say that Mr. Murphy did come through surgery."

It was Dean who again corrected the doctor, "It's Pastor Murphy."

Dr. Stevens looked at the tired young man, knowing from experience that it was a small way the upset man could have some control of a situation that was beyond his control. "I'm sorry; we will get that noted in his chart." Once Dean nodded the doctor continued, "We had a few complications which resulted in us loosing him for a few moments, but we were able to restart his heart and repair the damage from his accident."

"What kind of damage?" Mac asked, only knowing what Caleb had told him via the ER doctor.

"There was some internal bleeding, we had to remove his spleen, his kidneys and liver are bruised, we will be monitoring them closely. Pastor Murphy had seven broken ribs, two of which punctured his left lung; the force of the fall caused his other lung to collapse as well. To be totally honest with you gentlemen I am surprised he survived the fall, let alone the amount of time it took for help to arrive, his lung function was almost non-existent. Anyway, he will remain on a ventilator for a few days until his lung starts to heal. Hopefully, barring any further complication, I would say that Pastor Murphy is extremely lucky." Dr. Stevens took a moment as he saw a small amount of relief cross the men's faces. "Dr. Reynolds can inform you on the rest of the Pastor's injuries."

Dr. Reynolds was the younger of the two men, by Mac's guess he was only few years older than Caleb, but to be the resident orthopedic specialist the young man must have extraordinary talent. The young doctor cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask, are you 'the' Dr. Mackland Ames, the Neurosurgeon?"

It had been a few years since Mac left his full time practice, but he would still occasionally consult when asked, "I would have to say yes, but please don't believe all the hype." There was a time when Mac would relish in the fact that he was known by so many people outside of New York, but today he just wanted to know about his friend, his brother. "Please, about Jim?"

"Yes, I'm sorry…" Dr. Reynolds cleared his throat. "Pastor Murphy's right arm was broken in two places; the first in the Humerus, near his shoulder and the second break was on the Radius, just below the elbow. His right hip was dislocated, but we were able to get that back into place, his left leg was broken midway down the femur. Fortunately none of these breaks were crushing breaks so we didn't need to use pins, but he will be in a leg cast for at least six to eight weeks, and his arm will be cast of about four weeks, after which he will need extensive physical therapy."

It was again silent as the three hunters took in all they had been told, Caleb broke the silence, "When can we see him?" Caleb needed to see him, after feeling that connection severed then reestablished he just had an unwavering need to be able to physically touch his friend.

It was Dr. Stevens who answered, "He will be moved to the ICU in about an hour, after that he will be allowed visitors for about ten minutes every hour. Once his lung heals enough for the ventilator to be removed he will be moved down to a regular room, provided there have been no further complications, after which he can have visitors during regular visiting hours."

The five men stood up, again exchanging handshakes as the doctors turned to leave it was Dr. Stevens who again addressed them. "Our ICU is on the fifth floor. As I said it will be at least an hour before Pastor Murphy is transported up, you gentlemen should try and get some rest or at least something to eat. He's going to need a lot of help in his recovery." With that the two surgeons left the waiting room.

Dean's shaking voice broke the silence as he looked at Mac, "So he's gonna be okay?"

A nervous laugh escaped Mac as he laid a hand on both boys' shoulder. "It looks that way." he then pulled them both into hugs. "We need to find a hotel nearby, you boys need to get cleaned up and get some rest." Mac held up his hand at the expected protest from both men, "Please, you two have been through so much, you both are exhausted, physically and emotionally and if I know the two of you neither of you have eaten at least in the last day, if not longer." The guilty look exchanged by the two told Mac all he needed to know. "I'll leave the nurse my number, then we are going to find you boys a place to rest." Mac was pleased to see the young men sit down to wait for him to give his number to the nurse, then watched as the boys led the way toward the elevator.

Once reaching the parking garage, it took Dean and Caleb a minute to remember just which level they had parked the car, as they waited for the elevator in the garage, Caleb spoke up, "Dad, you need to call Johnny to let him know how Jim is and where we'll be staying."

As they exited the lift, slowly making their way across the structure Dean quietly spoke, "Mac, Dad knew something was wrong with Jim, he called Caleb wanting to know how close we were because he couldn't get a hold of him. Is it possible that it has something to do with him being the Knight and Jim the Guardian?"

Mac waited as Dean unlocked the car then he climbed in the back, "It's possible. I still don't know how the whole connection works, maybe that is something we can ask the Guardian while he is recovering."

They found a small hotel a few blocks from the hospital, Mac went in and got two adjoining rooms; one for Dean and Caleb to share and another for him and John when Winchester arrived. Once entering Caleb told Dean to get his shower first as he opened the door that connected the rooms. While he waited his turn the young psychic went into his father's room, sitting tiredly in the chair next to the desk, Caleb blew out a deep breath, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "Do you really think Jim's gonna be okay?"

Mac came over taking a seat on the end of the bed closest to his son. "Son, I know it sounds bad and the first time we see Jim…I'm sure it's going to be hard, I mean Jim's hardly ever been sick and since I've known him I've never known him to have more that a scratch or a couple of bruises on the occasion he would help on a hunt, so the next few days are going to be hard on all of us. But…" Mac got up grabbing his jacket off the bed, fishing out his cell phone. "It's Jim and we have to hold on to what the doctor's told us and believe he is going to be okay." Turning back to face his son Mac continued, "I want you boys to rest, I'll try and find us something to eat after I call John and let him know where to meet us."

Standing, Caleb stretched his tired muscles as he made his way back toward the door. "You think John and Dean are gonna be okay together, the old man hasn't even taken any of Dean's calls and it's really bothering the kid. He doesn't need any of John's crap on top of all this."

Mac gave his son a sad smile, "That's a question I don't have an answer to, Son, I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Slipping back into their room, Caleb found Dean already out of the shower and stretched out on one of the beds, back against the headboard. "Mac gonna call Dad?"

Ruffling through his bag Caleb looked up at his best friend, "Getting ready to right now, then he said he would find us something to eat, but I did get orders for us to rest first." A smirk crossed Caleb's face.

Dean rolled his eyes in response, "Were they 'Mac' orders or 'Scholar' orders?"

Stopping as the reached the bathroom door Caleb smiled back at Dean, "Don't know, but if we don't listen I wouldn't put it past him spiking our drinks." A serious look crossed Caleb's face, "It's gonna be okay Deuce."

Dean slide down, pulling the blanket up over him, a mumbled "Yeah", as the older hunter watched his little brother close his eyes, as exhaustion caused the younger man to fall asleep quickly. Turning, Caleb quietly closed the bathroom door.

A/N: I don't know anything medical hope you can over look those flaws and hope you enjoy the story anyway-Montez


	8. Chapter 8

"It' Jim"  
Chapter 8  
Disclaimer: See chapter 1

About an hour later Mac jumped slightly at the banging on his hotel room door, quickly glancing at the door that connect his room to the boys, he made his way to open the front one before John could kick it in.

"Why the hell aren't you at the hospital?" John demanded as he stormed in the room past Mac.

"Good to see you too John, now would you stop yelling." Mac closed the door, turning as John dumped his bag on the unoccupied bed.

Hard, tired eye's turned to face the Doctor, "Well?"

Mac crossed the room, looking into the younger hunter's room, as he pulled the door closed. He knew the boys need to rest, they had each been trying to hold in their emotions and if they didn't rest, the fragile barrier they both had erected would crumble.

Turning to face John again Mac answered, "I just called about twenty minutes ago, they are keeping Jim in recovery another hour, then moving him up to the ICU. I felt the boys needed to get some rest after what they have been through and by the look of you I'd say you need some rest yourself."

"You trying to tell me what to do now Mac?" John growled.

Mac was seriously getting tired of the jack-ass behavior from the Knight, seeming to want to turn every comment into a reason to argue. The Doctor didn't get angry easily, but John was pushing the limit. Mac took a step toward the elder Winchester as his voice calmly spoke. "Nobody has ever been able to tell you what to do, like you would listen anyway. But Jim is in capable hands at the moment, and my priority was to make sure Caleb and Dean got some rest after what they have been through. Now I can't help if my way of doing things isn't the John Winchester way of doing things, but right now I am calling the shots. Now if you want to go and sit at the hospital for hours without getting to see Jim, by all means go, but I will not compromise the boy's mental or emotional health, because they are too physically exhausted to help themselves."

John was actually stunned into silence; it took a moment for what Mac said to sink in. His whole drive John had thought of nothing but his lack of ability to help Jim. As the Knight he was responsible to protect the Guardian, with his call to Caleb and the younger man informing him that Jim had been hurt, the older hunter had berated himself the entire drive in, but not once did it occur to him how Caleb knew Jim was hurt to start with. "What do you mean are the boys all right?" A small tentacle of fear worked its way through John, Dean was with Caleb and he honestly didn't think to ask the boys if they were okay.

Mac backed away and sat down on the side of his bed. "John, Caleb had a vision of Jim's accident." the Doctor still ached for his son, knowing what it was doing to the young man, even thought Caleb continued to insist he was okay.

"Shit" John whispered out as he sat on the other bed across from Mac.

"How do you think the boys knew about it, knew where to find Jim? John those boys found Jim at the bottom of that ridge and were with him until help arrived." Mac rubbed his hand over his face, "Then at the hospital, just after I arrived…apparently something happened in the operating room and they lost Jim for a minute…John, Caleb felt that connection with Jim break, and Dean…" Mac actually saw worry cross the hunters face at the mention of his oldest son.

"Dean what? Is he all right?" John felt a need to see his son, he stood to walk toward the door into the other room, but Mac stopped him.

"Dean's okay for now, but John, with everything that has happened in the last year with Sam, then that damn fool hunt you two went on and with you not even taking his calls after Jim pulled him back to the farm, he is barely holding it together. You know how he feels about Jim and I am going to tell you right now, you are not to push that boy. He needs his father right now, not a damn drill instructor." Mac and John both turned toward the door as it opened to find Caleb standing there.

Even looking disheveled from sleep both men saw a dangerous glint in the young man's eyes, "Johnny, you try and start anything with him, you're going to have me to deal with, do you understand?"

John knew he was partly responsible for installing that protection streak that Caleb had toward Dean, but John also knew to not underestimate his former pupil and that the young man before him would easily carry out his threat if he felt Dean was being threatened by anyone, even his own father. "Yeah, I got ya Junior." the Knight walked over to stop in front of his protégé. "You okay, Mac just told me about the vision, why didn't you mention that when I called you?"

Tiredly Caleb walked over and sat down on his father's bed, "Didn't matter at the time, wasn't anything you could do that Deuce and I hadn't already done."

Mac walked over and laid his hand on his son's shoulder, "You should try to rest a little longer, I'm going to try and convince John here to at least get cleaned up while I head out and get us something to eat, then we'll head back up to the hospital." Caleb stood slowly as he wordlessly crossed back into the room he shared with Dean.

The Doctor grabbed his jacket, looking up when John called out to him; "Here…" he tossed Mac the keys to his truck.

"Thanks, I'll be back in a bit. Seriously John try and get some rest yourself." Mac watched a tired smile cross his friends face as the man nodded as the Scholar left the room.

---------------------

Jim found himself sitting on his porch swing, twilight settling over the farm. He looked up as Emma emerged through the back door, her soft voice breaking the silence. "He's scared to death."

The Preacher smiled sadly at his wife, "Dean has always worn his heart on his sleeve when it comes to those close to him. I think John and Sam both forget about that, sometimes I really worry about that boy, I worry that I will be adding undo pressure to him." Jim turned again looking out over the yard.

"He's a lot like you, he cares so much, but he is also stronger than he gives himself credit for." Emma smiled when Jim gave her a knowing look.

"That he is, he has to be with everything he has seen and had to do in his young life. When he was younger I always worried that John kept forgetting that Dean was just a child, when he expected so much from him. That's why I tried to make this place somewhere he could still act like a child, but as you so often reminded me that it was what we go through in life that helps us to help others." Reaching, Jim took his wife's hand in his.

"That Caleb is a rather special young man as well; he is very protective of Dean isn't he?" Emma laid her head on Jim's shoulder.

"That's another one who doesn't see how strong he is, he and Dean are so alike, both very protective of those they love and very loyal to those they are close to, but both hurt very easily by those very same people. I can't be the one to hurt them this time." Jim's voice carried over the farm as it all faded to grey.

--------------------

"We've got his blood pressure stabilized now doctor," One of the nurses spoke as the others were slowly leaving the small recovery room that Jim was in.

Dr. Stevens had been checking on his patient when Jim's blood pressure dropped dangerously low. "Good, keep a close eye on it and call me if it happens again. I hope we don't have to go back in on him, I don't know if he would be able to handle that." He placed the Preacher's chart back on the foot of the bed and he gave a last glance toward the Pastor's face, silently praying that everything would work out for his patient.


	9. Chapter 9

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 9  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

John awoke as Mac reentered the hotel room, a couple bags of carry-out balanced in his arms. Moving to the edge of the bed, the tired hunter ran his hand over his face, "I'll get the boys, tell them foods here." John slowly walked toward the adjoining room door.

"John…" Mac watched as the Knight stopped and looked at him.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to start anything." John disappeared through the door.

The older hunter stood at the doorway a moment, looking at the two sleeping men. Caleb was facing away from him, sprawled out on the bed. John's eyes then fell on the form of his son, his mind flashed back to a younger version of the boy, remembering how Dean would always sleep on his stomach, one arm under the pillow where John knew his hand was curled around the hilt of the hunting knife he had given him when Dean was eight years old. The Knight studied his son's face, even in sleep he looked exhausted, how he could have missed what his son had been going through since Sam left for college. He then cursed quietly to himself as he knew exactly how he missed the downward spiral, it was because he was so wrapped up in his own self-loathing that he expected the older boy to do what he always did, suck it up and keep going. He should have seen what Sam's leaving had done to Dean, but John stubbornly wanted to believe he still had some control over his family.

Even with the hunt that had nearly cost him his eldest, John missed what was happening with Dean, even when everyone else around them saw it. The Knight had been beyond pissed at Jim for using his authority as the Guardian, taking Dean back to the farm to recover. John now felt ashamed at not keeping in contact with his eldest once the boy was back on the road with Caleb. However, looking now John agreed with Mac, Dean needed his father. So with that thought John sat on the edge of his son's bed, laying a gentle hand on his son's back to wake him. "Dean."

The younger man always had quick reflexes, lucky for John his was a bit quicker as he caught his son's arm as it swung around, knife in hand, "Whoa there, Ace." the older hunter let go as Dean moved back from the threat.

To John's credit he didn't flinch when he noticed Caleb out of the corner of his eye come up from a sound sleep with his gun in hand. "Damn it Johnny, just about got yourself shot." Caleb reset the safety laying his gun on the table between the beds.

Glancing at the dark-haired hunter John spoke, "Mac's got some food; I was coming to get you boys."

"Yeah…" Caleb whispered as he slowly made his way toward the door leading to his father's room, pausing a moment to look at Dean, who was against the headboard, hunting knife lying next to him. "You okay Deuce?"

Dean gave a nod as he looked from his father, still on the edge of the bed, up to his friend, "I'm good." The young man watched as Caleb disappeared through the door before turning back to face his father. "Dad… when did you get here?" Leaning over he placed his knife on the table next to Caleb's gun.

"About an hour ago, Mac just got back with some food." John studied his son a moment; it broke John's heart to see the lost look that reflected back from the moss-green eyes. "You okay Son?"

A surprised look crossed Dean's face, quickly replaced by the neutral look he was trying to hold on to, "I'm fine." To be honest Dean wasn't sure how to talk with his father anymore, it wasn't like they ever were the type to have heart to hearts, but since Jim had suggested that he and Caleb hunt together, his father had been the one to withhold contact and now Dean just didn't know where he stood with his Dad.

John noticed the guarded look and felt bad; it was because of his actions that his son wasn't sure what to say. What Mac had said earlier and with the quick flash of a younger version of his son still fresh in his mind, John cleared his throat, "I'm sorry." At the questioning look Dean gave the older man, he continued before he lost his nerve. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when Sammy left and for getting you hurt on that hunt we had no business doing, especially when I didn't research it as good as I should have…"

"Dad…" Dean tried to stop his father, but John held is hand up, halting the attempt.

"No Son, let me finish. I shouldn't have taken it out on you when Jim pulled you back to the farm to recover. If I had been thinking clearly I would have seen that he was doing what I should have been doing, looking out for you, I'm sorry." John looked at his hands, twisting the only ring that graced his fingers, his wedding band.

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing from his Dad, John never apologized for anything. "It's okay; we both have had a lot going on in our heads."

"That's not an excuse, you're my son I should have seen what was happening, I'll try not to let it happen again." John looked up at his son and knew what he would see reflected back, forgiveness, something Dean always offered even when it wasn't deserved.

It was silent a minute as the two Winchester men were lost in thought. Dean broke that quiet, "Has Mac heard anything about Jim?"

John stood so his son could get up, "Nothing new, we were going to head back up as soon as we eat."

"Then let's eat." Dean said as John followed his son into Mac's room.

Within the hour the four hunters had returned to the hospital, making their way to the fifth floor that housed the ICU. Mac approached the nurse's stations, "Can you tell me if Pastor Jim Murphy has been moved to the ICU yet?"

With a few key strokes the woman brought up the info. "He was just brought about thirty minutes ago, there is a note that Dr. Stevens would like to speak with you when you arrived." Mac exchanged worried looks with the men next to him as the young nurse paged Dr. Stevens.

"Wasn't that one of Jim's surgeons?" Caleb asked, worry in his voice.

"Damien?" Dean whispered his friend's voice, Caleb knowing without looking at the younger man what he was asking.

"Trust me Deuce, after what happened earlier we would know if something happened to Jim." Caleb knew he would never forget that feeling that had come over him in those few minutes the doctors had said they had lost Jim in the operating room.

"Mac, is it normal for the surgeon to still want to talk with us once Jim's been moved up to ICU?" John knew different hospitals had different procedures but didn't miss the worry in the Scholar's face.

"Sometimes it is, I was one who kept a close eye on my patients until they were moved to a regular room." Mac tried to not fear the worst just because the doctor wanted to talk with them again.

The four men turned as Dr. Stevens came through the ICU doors. "Dr. Ames," the surgeon extended his hand toward Mac, then to the others, stopping at John.

"John Winchester." John answered the questioning look from the doctor.

"I'm Dr. Stevens I was one of Pastor Murphy's surgeons." the doctor then turned his attention back to Mac, "The Pastor was just moved up about thirty minutes ago, it will be few more minutes before we allow anyone to visit with him. Dr. Ames, the reason I wanted to speak with you is to let you know we kept the Pastor in recovery a little longer than normal because we had some issues with his blood pressure."

"What kind of issues?" Caleb stepped up next to his father.

The doctor glanced at the men before him he could see how much these men cared about his patient. "We had a little problem getting it stabilized; at on point it dropped dangerously low. I was worried that I may have to go back in, that I may have missed something. However, we were able to stabilize him and for the past few hours everything has remained within acceptable ranges."

"How are his kidney and liver functions doing?" Mac was slipping into doctor mode and wanted as much info as possible.

Dr. Stevens looked at the older man, "So far everything is looking as good as can be expected, we are still looking at the possibility of a couple of days on the ventilator before we try and bring him off of it, to see how his lungs are healing. We are also watching close to make sure he doesn't start running a fever which would indicate a possible infection, but we are giving him antibiotics as a precaution. As I said it will be just a little more time before we can allow anyone back, for the first visit back I will allow two of you to go back, but after that I ask that only one of you go at a time, you can split the time if you wish, but understand rest is one of the most important things he needs right now. I'm sure you understand that Dr. Ames"

"Yes, of course." Mac answered as the Dr. Stevens moved toward the doors.

Before passing through he looked back at the men, "I'll send a nurse out shortly to bring someone back."

As the surgeon passed through the door the four men turned and headed toward the waiting room a short distance down the hall, each taking a seat when they entered, Caleb next to his father with John and Dean across from them. "I think the boys should go in first." Mac spoke as both Dean and Caleb looked up at him.

"Dad..." Caleb started but was stopped by Mac.

"You boy's were with him, I think it only fair that you are the first to see him, I know what this has been doing to you son, please don't argue with me about this. After you two see him I want you to go back to the hotel, three hours sleep wasn't enough after all this." Mac glanced at John, who wisely didn't counter the doctor's request.

"He's right," John spoke quietly, "You boys need to see that Jim is okay, that you got there in time."

Dean glanced at his father, surprised when the older man didn't argue that he or Mac should go back first. Looking over meeting the eyes of his friend, the younger man just nodded, not trusting himself to speak as the thought of seeing Jim hooked to machines that were keeping him alive wanted to make Dean's meal make an encore appearance.

The quiet hunter was pulled from his thought when a nurse stepped into the room, "Dr. Stevens says that two of you may come back now."

Dean and Caleb again exchanged glances as Mac squeezed his son's arm and John patted his son's back for support. Then the two younger hunters followed the nurse through the doors.


	10. Chapter 10

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 10  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Both men hesitated at the pulled curtain, unsure, it had been hard enough to find Jim broken and bloody at the base of that ridge. The nurse's quiet voice interrupted their thoughts, "He's doing as well as can be expected." Caleb gave a small smile at her attempt to reassure them, but glancing at his brother beside him he knew Dean was just barely holding it together and wasn't sure if it was such a good idea for them to be the first ones to come back.

"Deuce?" Caleb placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, whose tear-filled eyes glanced at him, nodding subtlety the two men walked through the curtain.

The steady beep of the heart monitor was the initial noise they heard upon entering the cubicle that Jim was in, next the mechanical whoosh of the ventilator. "Jim…" Dean's strangled voice whispered, as Caleb looked at the younger man, noticing the paleness that had overtaken his face.

"Hey?" Caleb touched his friend's arm.

"I'm good…" Dean lied knowing Caleb could tell it for what it was.

Looking back at the Pastor's still form, Caleb took a few steps forward, needing to at least touch the older man. He needed to get a deeper reading that he could only get with physical contact, he knew Jim was still alive, but he needed to know if Jim was still there. Caleb was hardwired for guilt when he couldn't stop his visions from happening, especially when it was a vision of someone he was close to, someone he cared about. So as he laid a gentle hand on Jim's forearm, he silently prayed, thankful he could pick up a faint presence of the older man, though it wasn't nearly as strong as normal. Caleb took a shaky breath, "I'm sorry Jim, I should have gotten there sooner." He whispered out as he felt a tear slip from his eyes. Caleb felt a special connection to the Pastor, it was Jim and Mac that had found him all those years ago, they had saved him in more ways than one and now the young man felt he had somehow let the older man down.

Dean stood in the same spot he had stopped, watching Caleb step forward. To Dean, Jim was his safe haven, he was the person the young man could talk to about everything, next to Caleb, Jim was probably the only person who knew the real Dean that hide behind the smart ass comments and the false bravado. That could still see the little boy in the man's body who was terrified of loosing those around him. Jim had always made him feel that he was important, when his own father saw him as a soldier, Jim saw the boy beneath. It was Jim who weathered the wrath of John Winchester when he took Dean back to the farm those months ago to recover. And now it was that Jim that lay unconscious, battered and broken on the bed before him, it was just too much for the young man to handle as he turned and walked out of the room.

"Deuce?" Caleb turned as he heard the younger man leave; he was torn between needing to keep his connection with Jim and needing to comfort his brother. Caleb gently squeezed the older man's arm, "I'll take care of him, but you better get back here soon because we all need you Asotrim."

Caleb stepped out of the room to find Dean sitting on the floor next to the nurse's station, an older woman kneeling next to him holding a cup of water; a few quick steps had him at the young man's side. "Deuce, you okay?" The older hunter looked at the woman beside Dean when he didn't get an answer, "What happened?"

The deep-green eyes of the woman next to them drew Caleb in for a moment as a picture flashed in his mind of a younger version of the lady. "Do I know you?" he asked as he tried to read her, only to be blocked by the image of roses.

The woman smiled a kind smile, reminding him a Jim, as she looked back at a quiet Dean, "He just came out here and slide down the wall and I haven't been able to get him to tell me if he's all right."

Caleb's attention was quickly drawn back to his friend. "Jim means a lot to us, it's hard to see him like that. Dean's been through a lot this year and this just has added a bit more then we seem to be able to handle at the moment." Caleb took Dean's face in his hands, bringing the young hunter's vacant gaze to meet his. "Deuce, man I need you to look at me, no checking out on me right now." Caleb gently tapped Dean on the cheek, finally getting a spark of life as moss-green eyes met his.

"Damien?" Dean blinked, like he had just woken up from a dream or nightmare as the case may be.

"You with me man?" Caleb took the offered water from the woman, getting Dean to drink a little.

Dean pushed the cup away, "It's just seeing him like that…" the younger man took a deep breath, willing his tear-filled eyes to not overflow.

"I know, but hey…" Caleb made sure he had Dean's attention, "he's still there, we have to believe he won't leave us, okay."

"He loves you too much to leave you." The older woman said drawing Dean's attention for the first time as Caleb looked cautiously at her.

"You?" Dean spoke, surprise showing in his face.

"Deuce?" Caleb watched his friend's reaction to the woman; he wasn't sure whether to take her as a threat or a friend.

Her quiet voice spoke again as both boys looked at her, "He's fighting to stay for you boys, he doesn't want to hurt you, he won't give up and I know when he is better you boys will take good care of him and that's a comfort to me. You both know yourself, love is worth fighting for and it is the love he feels for you boys and the love he feels from you boys that he is fighting for right now and that is why he will pull through this." With that she stood and walked through the door marked Lounge. Not until the door closed did it register with Caleb that she was talking as if she knew Jim personally. He quickly stood and pushed the door open, wanting to get her name. However, when he opened the door there were only two younger nurses sitting at a table, taking their break.

"Can we help you sir?" one asked as she stood.

"Did an older woman just come in here?" Caleb asked, looking around the room.

"I'm sorry sir; no one has come in for a few minutes. Is everything all right?" She took a step toward him as he backed out of the room.

"Yes, I'm sorry." He said pulling the door closed.

Dean had gotten himself to his feet as Caleb turned around to help him, "Did you know her Deuce?" The older man reached out to steady Dean, he swayed a little as he took a step.

"I saw her earlier, after Mac arrived, when I went to get coffee. I couldn't get the money in the machine…she talked like she knew Jim, but when I tried to follow her she…she wasn't there." Dean looked at the lounge door then back at Caleb.

"Like now?" Caleb whispered.

"Yeah." Dean replied as they slowly made their way back toward the waiting room.

The two young hunters made there way back toward the waiting room, containing each of their fathers, who had taken up pacing when the ten minute time limit extended into fifteen. It was at the twenty minute mark that the boys came through the doors. The pale complexion of Dean, as well as, Caleb's close proximity to his friend caused the two older men to exchange worried looks as the met the boys half-way.

"Is Jim all right?" Mac asked first as John helped his son to a seat, worried at the minute tremors he felt from the boy.

Reluctantly letting his friend's father guide Dean, Caleb stopped in front of Mac, "Jim's about how the doctor told us, he's hooked to more machines then I ever thought I'd see anyone hooked to, but he is still there Dad." Caleb glanced at Dean as John sat beside him, "Deuce had a tough time seeing Jim like that," Caleb lowered his voice a bit, so John couldn't hear the rest, the dark-haired hunter didn't want to inadvertently give the elder Winchester something to get on Dean's case about. "Dad, I almost lost Dean in there for a minute." At Mac's concerned expression the younger man continued. "He couldn't stay in the room, when I came out he was sitting on the floor next to the nurse's station, 'zoned out'. It scared me a minute, it was almost like I was looking into the face of that scared five-year old we first met. I don't think he did it on purpose, but with all the shit he's been dealing with I just think it was automatic."

Mac nodded his head, agreeing with his son. It took them months when the young man was a child to pull him from his shell he had closed himself into after his mothers death. Mac had seen a few times over the years when something happened that put those close to Dean in jeopardy, the young hunter would withdrawal. However there was something that was worrying the Doctor about his own son, Caleb was being more guarded with his emotions then he had been and that worried Mac, "Caleb I know you're worried about Dean, but how are you doing?"

Caleb shook his head, the emotional roller coaster he had been on lately wasn't doing anything for the headache he was still carrying from the aftereffect of his vision, and exhaustion was his enemy in that regards, but he didn't want his father worrying about him, when Jim was the one they could lose. Other than Dean's little episode, what was puzzling the young hunter even more, was the mysterious woman who seemed to know them and Jim. As of right now it would stay between him and Dean, since they both had encountered her, but if he couldn't unravel that mystery he would mention it to his father later, when they knew Jim was out of the woods, so to speak. "I'm good Dad, just tired. It's just hard to see Jim like that."

Mac pulled his son into a hug, which to the Scholar's surprise his son allowed and returned, lending testament to the emotionally draining experience they had all been through the last day. "I want you two to go back to the hotel and get some rest. Come back in a few hours, we will stay here in shifts, that way we all aren't exhausted." Mac pulled back from his son when he could tell the younger man was going to protest, "Son, both you boys are barely holding it together, right now rest is the best thing, please don't argue with me on this."

Caleb gave his father a small smile as he nodded, "Remember that when me and Deuce show back up later and it's your turn to go." The young hunter walked over to Dean, "Hey Deuce, Mac here is throwing us out, but we get to return the favor in a few hours."

The young man watched his friend rise, surprised he didn't argue to stay, John patted Dean's shoulder as he stood. "Get some rest Son."

The engrained, automatic, "Yes, Sir." was whispered by Dean as he slowly followed his best friend toward the elevators.

A/N: Asotrim is the reference to Jim's dragon name in the stories he use to tell Sam when he was a small child. The story of the dragons can be found in Ridley's story: In the Company of Dragons.


	11. Chapter 11

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 11  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

Caleb and Dean returned a few hours later, neither looking as if they had rested, but as agreed upon it was now their turn to hold vigil at the hospital. So for the next three days each of the men rotated in shifts so that someone was always there to visit with Jim during the precious ten minutes an hour they were given. On the fourth day Dr. Stevens met with the hunters. "We will be adjusting the ventilator today, Pastor Jim's lungs are sounding good and we're happy that pneumonia hasn't been an issue. I will have the Respiratory Specialist adjust the machine to only activate if the Pastor's oxygen levels fall below the normal range. We will monitor him closely and depending on the number of times the machine is activated it is possible that we could remove the ventilator as early as tomorrow morning."

Visible relief passed across the faces of the men before Dr. Stevens as Mac spoke up, "So his other injuries are healing well, liver and kidney function have remained stable?"

"Everything is looking good, we will also start to cut back on the sedation we have had him on, hopefully once we remove the respirator he will wake up soon after. As I mentioned a few days ago, he will need extensive physical therapy and help for a while until he gets his strength back." Dr. Stevens commented.

Dean's quiet voice responded, "That won't be a problem." Dean glanced from the doctor to Caleb, who nodded. It was something they had talked about, the younger hunters decided they would stay close to the farm for a while, until Jim could get around on his own again. Each of the younger men knew that once Jim was out of the hospital, John would more than likely hit the road again and Mac, though he would stay at the farm at first, had his own obligations to his patients in New York.

Checking his watch Dr. Stevens concluded, "I'll be meeting the Specialist in just a few minutes, once the machine is reset we will monitor Pastor Jim closely for several hours, which means that we won't be allowing visitors back for a while, we have your numbers, so if you gentlemen wanted to get something to eat and return later, I'll meet with you around dinner time and let you know how the Pastor is progressing."

"Thank you Dr. Stevens." Mac extended his hand, shaking the doctor's hand as the younger man turned and headed through the ICU doors. Then, for the first time in days, all four men left the hospital together.

Around five that afternoon the hunters returned to the hospital, the nurse directing them to Dr. Stevens' office. After about 15 minutes the surgeon came in, "I'm pleased to say that over the six hours since we adjusted Pastor Jim's ventilator it has only activated about ten times and he has been breathing completely on his own for the last three hours. Hopefully things will progress as they have and tomorrow morning we will be able to remove the machine completely and move him to a regular room."

Caleb patted Dean on the back, giving the younger man a reassuring smile as they watched their father's shake hands with the doctor who had been caring for Jim. A short time later found the younger hunters taking their turn in the waiting room as the older hunters returned to the hotel for a few hours of sleep, everyone wanting to be back at the hospital the next morning when the vent was finally removed and Jim could be moved to a regular room.

By ten o'clock the next morning Jim was in a regular room, the machine hadn't activated at all throughout the night and was removed first thing that morning. Once everyone could be in the room with the older man Caleb and Dean refused to leave the Pastor's side, after watching him loose consciousness five days ago they felt an overwhelming need to be there when the Pastor decided to wake up.

----------------------

It was a warm hand on his forehead that brought Jim to consciousness; he slowly opened his eyes, exhaustion being the overriding feeling. The room he was in was dimly lit as his eye's adjusted, focusing in on the face that was just inches from his own, "Emma?"

The woman's deep-green eyes twinkled, a smile crossing her face as the Pastor's rough voice whispered her name. "Glad to see you awake again My Love, you've given these boys quite a scare." she glanced to her side as Jim's eyes followed. Once focused he took in the sleeping forms of both Caleb and Dean; each looking rather uncomfortable with Dean's hand propping his head up at a neck-aching angle and Caleb slouched down, his chin resting on his chest, feet propped on the arm of Dean's chair. Emma's voice brought Jim's attention back to his much loved, desperately missed wife, "They haven't left the room since you were moved from the ICU. They even sweet-talked the overnight nurses into letting them stay, of course Jonathon and Mackland haven't been happy with it, but understand why they want to be here with you."

Jim closed his eyes a moment, the memories of the last few days coming back to him; the fall from the ridge, seeing his old friend Solomon, then the boys arriving, finding him at the base of the ridge and the fear in their faces. Then his time he had spent with Emma, the woman he still loved after all these years, the older man couldn't help the choked sob that escaped his throat as a tear slipped from his eye. "I miss you so much." he whispered as he felt the gentle touch of her hand on his cheek.

"And I have missed you everyday since I was called home, but remember I am always with you…" Emma placed her other hand over Jim's heart, "You have always kept me safely in here and I will remain there until it is your time to join me." A tear slipped from her eye, "But now it is time for you to wake up for these boys and don't worry I'll see you again…" Emma leaned down and gently kissed her husband's lips, "I love you James Murphy, don't ever forget that."

--------------------

Jim's eyes slowly opened as they adjusted to the dimly lit room. He felt a tear slip from his eyes as he still felt the warmth on his cheek where Emma's touch had been, he could still taste the sweetness of her kiss on his lips. He drew in a slow-deep breath feeling the slight pull in his chest from what he guessed were broken ribs. Slowly he moved his head to the right and saw Dean and Caleb still asleep as he had seen them just moments ago as Emma visited him for what he knew would be her final time until they met again at his journeys end.

He felt sadness at the thought of what the younger men had been witness to because of him, but the love that he felt for his 'boys' overwhelmed every other feeling. With Emma's help, he fought to stay for these boys, not wanting to cause anymore pain in their lives. As even Emma had pointed out, they were two very strong young men, much stronger than they even knew and when the time came Jim, even in his weakened state, knew the decisions set in motion years ago would set in place one of the strongest Triads that the Brotherhood would ever see. But now, as his beloved wife had said, he needed to put these tired young men's minds at ease and let them know he was on the road to recovery. "D…Dean?"

The whispered calling of his name woke Dean instantly, but it took a moment for him to realize where it had come from. Glancing at his best friend he could hear the soft snores of the dark-haired hunter. Rubbing his hand over his tired face the younger man looked toward the bed that held the Pastor. It took a second to register that the pale-blue eyes of Jim were watching him. "Jim?" Dean stood as a slight smile pulled at the Preacher's mouth. "Damien!" Dean shoved Caleb's feet from the arm of his chair as he took a step toward the bed.

"Damn it Deuce!" The tired hunter growled out at the harsh way he had been woken. It was then that Caleb notice that Dean was at the Pastors side. "Deuce?"

Dean ignored his friend a moment as he stopped at the edge of the bed, leaning over he gently laid his hand on the silver-haired head of the Preacher. "Jim? Can you hear me?"

At hearing the younger man mention Jim's name, Caleb was quickly next to Dean, "Jim?"

"Damien, hit the button, get someone in here now." Dean ordered as Caleb crossed to the other side of the bed. The younger man reached down and placed his hand inside of Jim's, "Can you squeeze my hand, Jim?"

Dean watched as the older man tracked Caleb's movement toward the call button then turning his attention back to him as the Pastor closed his hand around Dean's. Jim watched as Dean's eyes immediately filled, a relieved smile crossing the tired young man's face. "About time you woke up, you had us scared to death." Dean felt Caleb move in beside him again, glancing at his friend he saw the same relieved, tear-filled eyes he was sporting, both young men finally taking a breath after days of it feeling like they had been holding it.

"S…sorry." a rough whisper was heard from the man in the bed.

Caleb cleared his throat as he spoke, his voice still cracking a little, "You've got nothing to be sorry for, we're just glad to see you awake finally." The dark-haired man gently squeezed the Pastor's shoulder.

Three sets of eyes looked toward the door as the nurse entered. Caleb stepped back; Dean reluctantly released the Pastor's hand as the nurse moved in to start her initial exam. "It's nice to see you awake Pastor Murphy, the doctor will be in shortly, but I'm going to go ahead and give you a quick check, Okay?" Jim gave a slight nod as his eye's watched the boys.

Placing his hand on Dean's shoulder Caleb spoke, "I'm gonna go call Dad and Johnny, let them know Jim's awake."

"Yeah, okay." Dean looked at his friend as the older man headed toward the door. When the nurse finished up her quick check he asked, "How's he doing?"

The young woman gave him a reassuring smile, "Everything looks good. I paged the doctor and he should be here shortly." She finished pulling the blanket back up on the Pastor's chest, "If you need anything, please just let me know." The nurse told both men as she turned to leave.

Dean slowly walked back toward the bed, pulling the chair closer he sat down, subconsciously reaching to again take Jim's hand. Feeling Dean's hand in his, Jim gave it a squeeze, "Dean?"

Clearing his throat the younger man finally met the older man's gaze again, "How you feeling?"

Again it was a rough whisper that responded, "Like…I…fell off the ridge." The comment got the reaction Jim was looking for as a nervous laugh escaped Dean, the hint of a smile that Jim hadn't seen in months tugging at the younger man's face.

"Well, considering that's what happened I guess that's how you should feel." Jim smiled slightly as a shaking breath was released from Dean before a serious look overtook the young hunter's features. "We thought we lost you…" Dean wiped his hand over his eye's as tears threatened to fall, "I…God…just try not to do that again, okay?" the voice reminded Jim so much of the young child that Dean use to be, ever fearful of loosing those close to him.

"Do my best." Jim whispered back as silence settled between the two.

A/N: one more chapter left, hopefully over the weekend. Hope you all are enjoying, thanks for reading!-Montez


	12. Chapter 12

"It's Jim"  
Chapter 12  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1

It was the day after Thanksgiving when Pastor Jim Murphy returned to his farm. The week and a half had changed so much in his life and in the lives of those close to him. Ten days ago he had nearly died; ten days ago he had been visited by his long deceased friend and mentor Solomon O'Shaughnessy, then over the course of several days by his much loved and dearly missed wife Emma. Ten days ago Caleb had seen his accident in a vision and that sent the young psychic and his best friend Dean to the rugged back section of Jim's property in search for the gravely injured Pastor, but now he was home.

As the Impala pulled into the driveway with Dean in the driver's seat, Caleb riding shot gun and the slowly healing Pastor in the back, Jim saw Bobby Singer's beat-up tow truck, Missouri Mosley's old, but well maintained Cadillac and Joshua Sawyer's shiny silver BMW. John and Mac were in John's big, black GMC following close behind. The normally hour drive from Louisville took about thirty minutes longer as Dean tried to take the smoothest route possible so as to make the drive more comfortable for Jim.

Mac had called Missouri and Bobby from the hospital days ago once the status of the Guardian was known. Bobby called Joshua and the three had agreed to meet at Jim's place a few days before his release to help with Missouri's idea to fix up the downstairs guest bedroom so Jim wouldn't have to maneuver the stairs. As the car came to a stop, the three came down the porch stairs, each releasing a sigh of relief to finally see the Pastor/Guardian home.

Dean exited the car, rounding to the trunk to retrieve the wheelchair that Jim would need for the next couple of weeks until his arm healed enough to allow him to use crutches. Caleb got out as Bobby neared the car to help with Jim, "Did you have time to build the ramp?" the younger hunter asked.

Adjusting his hat as he reached for the back door of the Impala, Bobby motioned toward the house, "Of course, Slick didn't even complain about helping me with the manual labor." Bobby smirked as he glanced at Joshua who stood a few feet back, next to Missouri.

Dean locked the wheels on the chair as Mac and John came up beside the car, Caleb and Bobby had already helped Jim ease his legs out, once the chair was next to the open door Bobby stepped back as Caleb and Dean each reached under Jim's arms, gently lifting him into the waiting chair.

Missouri pushed past Bobby, leaning over to give Jim a gentle hug. "It's so good to see you, how are you feeling Jim?"

Jim smiled at her, "Like you don't already know my dear Missouri, but those not gifted with your talent I would say I am very happy to finally be back home."

Everyone present chuckled as Bobby gently squeezed the older man's shoulder, "You know Jim, if you wanted company for Thanksgiving there were other ways to get us all together."

Jim patted the gruff hunter's hand, "Believe me Robert, this wasn't my first choice in way of invitations." Jim looked up at Joshua, who was still hovering back a few feet. The young Crafter had never felt 'close' to those gathered around Jim, but the Pastor had always given the young man a warm welcome when he would come to the farm. "Joshua…" Jim reached out his uninjured left hand, Joshua taking it. "It's nice to see you, I wish circumstances were different, but as always it's a pleasure to have your company."

The blond man smiled, "It's good to see you on the mend Jim. My mother sends her well-wishes also."

"Esme has always been a very caring woman, when you speak with her again; thank her for me, would you?" Jim asked.

"Of Course." Joshua stepped back as Dean started to push Jim toward the newly installed ramp to the house.

Jim noticed the addition to his porch; Caleb spoke up before the Pastor questioned it, "I hope you didn't mind Jim, I asked Bobby and Josh to build this, to make it easier." Caleb had made sure Bobby knew it would only be a temporary addition.

"It was very thoughtful Caleb, Thank you all for everything." Upon reaching the top of the ramp Joshua opened the screen door to the porch that led into the kitchen. Once entering the overwhelming smell of food filled the air. "Missouri, I hope you haven't been doing all this cooking, though I appreciate it very much."

Missouri made her way toward the counter, where a stake of plates awaited everyones arrival. "I wish I could take credit for all this wonderful food, but my only contrabution has been a cobbler. It was some of the wonderful woman of your congragation that are to be thanked for this feast. I should say, since our arrival a few days ago Bobby, Joshua and myself have fielded several calls and visits from very concerned members of your flock. I dare say we will have to see that you make an appearance at your church this coming Sunday if you are up to it, some the older members have been beside themselves with worry."

Dean knelt beside Jim as Missouri finished talking, "Jim, do you want to rest or try and eat something first?" Jim was well aware of Dean's near constant presence, the boy seemed afraid that if he left Jim alone to long that the Pastor my just disappear on him.

Jim smiled at the younger hunter, "It's okay Dean, I'll stay out here a bit. I feel like all I have done is sleep, if you could just move me a little closer to the table, that way everyone can get themselves something to eat."

Dean moved the chair to Jim's normal position, at the head of the table, as Missouri's voice again was heard, "Okay, all you boys…" Mac and John gave her a funny look, "Don't you two look at me like that, to me you are all boys, now all of you get down the hall and wash up, I've got the food warmed up and we shouldn't let all those nice ladies hard work go to waste…now skoot." She started to push the men from the kitchen as Joshua started to set the plates on the table.

Dean was reluctant to leave Jim's side. Missouri placed a reassuring hand on his back, "It's alright baby, he's home now." Missouri could easily read the turmoil in the younger man as he nodded and slowly made his way down the hall.

Jim watched Dean, reluctantly leave the room, "This has been hard on him, with everything he's been dealing with I hate that I'm the reason to have added to his pain." the Pastor whispered.

Joshua was near the stove, stiring the gravy as Missouri spoke. "That boy has always carried around more than his share of worry for those around him, but it is such a part of who he is, I don't think he could change it if he tried. As painful as it is to see, this will only make him stronger; as long as he has the support of those around him that understand the burdon he carries." Jim nodded in agreement.

The group of men returned to the kitchen, each taking their seats as Missouri placed the last bowl on the table. Everyone took hands as her strong, confident voice spoke, "Dear Lord, thank you for the food given to us today by so many thoughtful, caring people. Thank you for the people gathered around this table and look after those who we dearly wish were with us today. But mostly Lord, thank you for returning our dear Jim back to us, a little worse for wear, but alive and on the mend, and thank you for all the blessing we may not be directly aware of at the time. In Your Son's precious name, Amen."

'Amen's' quietly echoed around the table as the unique family gathered around it began to eat.

_____

Later that evening after everyone had settled in, Jim asked Dean and Caleb to help him to the guestroom that had been fixed up for his use. As each man helped Jim to change and get ready for bed the Pastor spoke, "I want you boys to know how much it means to me that you are helping me like this. It's hard for any of us to ask for help, but I couldn't have asked for better help than the two of you."

Caleb spoke, "It's nothing that you haven't done for us over the years. How many times have we been sick or laid up here and even when we would insist that we were okay, you wouldn't let us get away with it?"

Jim smiled as Caleb spoke, knowing full well how many times the boys before him had been hurt or sick. These boys, who were now men, were like his children and the fear he had always felt when they were injured or ill, he could only assume it was how their father's felt. Just as it had broken his heart when Sam had broke all contact with the Brotherhood, including himself. It hurt the Pastor more to see what it did to Dean, then to watch as Caleb had, himself, felt useless not knowing how to help his best friend, his little brother, get through the pain. "I just want you boys to know I'm proud of you both."

Caleb and Dean both looked at the Pastor as they helped get him into the bed, "Jim…" Dean started to speak, but was stopped by the older man.

"Both of you sit for a minute." Jim watched at Caleb grabbed the chair that sat next to the door as Dean took a seat on the edge of the bed. "Caleb, I hated that you saw what happened to me…" The Pastor held up his hand as he saw he was about to be interrupted, "But as I have always told you, that your abilities are a gift. If it wasn't for them I would not have made it out of those woods alive. You were the only person who knew exactly where I was, I don't want you to ever doubt your abilities again. There has never been nor will there ever be anything wrong with you, I trust you, I always have and I always will." Caleb felt tears fill his eyes as he recalled Jim saying the same thing before he lost consciousness that night in the woods.

Jim then looked at Dean, reaching with his good hand to take the younger man's hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "And you, I'm so sorry that with everything that has happened to you this past year that I have had to be the reason to add more worry and fear to what you already carry around." Again Jim had to stop the coming interruption, "Dean, the three of us in this room, we are closer to each other then anyone else I know. Anything and everything can be talked about among the three of us and I'm sure there are things that only Caleb knows about you, just there are only things I know about you. We don't hide things in this room and I want you to know I am proud of you. With everything you have had to endure, your strength has only grown with it. You may not see or feel it now, but it will help you in the future."

Jim closed his eyes a moment, taking a deep breath, when he opened them he could see a glimpse of the future. These men before him, along with the one they were dearly missing, would form an alliance that would be tested to it's greatest limit and prevail, leaving no doubt that he had read the signs correctly, the signs that had lead him to placing these young men in the positions they were now in and would one day hold. "I don't ever want you boys to doubt yourselves or any decisions you make and always remember that I love you both and you have always and will always make me proud."

The three men sat in silence for a moment as Dean and Caleb tried desparitely to hold on to the emotions Jim's words stirred up. It actually took longer than Jim expected, but then Caleb's voice broke the silence, the breaking in his voice giving away that Jim's meaning had gotten through, "Geez, Jim…do near death experiences always make you this touchy-feelly, because this day-time talk show moment is really starting to make me think they released you too soon."

The comment did what it was meant to do, causing barely contained chuckles from the others, which broke the heavy emotion in the room, something both young men were always nervous about. As the quiet laughs died down Caleb caught a glimpse of a photograph on the nightstand, he quickly stood, startling both Jim and Dean. "Damien?"

Caleb picked up the photo, as the others noticed a little color drain from the dark-haired hunters face. Dean stood quickly as Jim, subconsciously tried to push himself back up, "Caleb?" Dean spoke again, taking his friend by the arm, getting him to set back down.

"Deuce, Look…" Caleb handed him the photo as Dean studied the picture a second, then he too sat heavily back onto the edge of the bed. Jim watching them both, unsure what was happening, debating on whether to call for help with the younger men.

"Dean? Caleb?" Jim's worried voice questioned as the two hunters looked at each other.

"That's her…isn't it?" Dean asked as Caleb just nodded.

"I thought she looked familiar, but I couldn't place her." Caleb spoke as he took the photo back from Dean.

"Okay, you two are starting to scare me. Is something wrong?" Jim's worried voice finally caused Dean and Caleb to look at the Pastor.

Caleb turned the picture so that it faced Jim, "This…this is Emma, your wife, right?" There were a few photos around the house of the only woman Jim ever loved, but they were mostly in his study or in his bedroom. Apparently when Missouri had set up the room she had been thoughtful enough to bring down the photo that Jim kept at his bedside.

Jim took the photo, looking at the younger version of the face that had helped him on his journey back to these boys. "Yes, this is Emma. You both have seen this photo before…" Jim watched as a strange expression passed between the two hunters. "What? Is something wrong?"

Dean looked at Jim, "We…" Dean seemed unsure, again glancing at Caleb who continued.

"Jim, we saw her…" Caleb pointed at the picture, "We saw at the hospital, while you were in the ICU. Well that was when we both saw her, Deuce saw her before that."

Jim looked back and forth between the two, "You saw Emma? At the hospital?"

Dean finally found his voice, "I first saw her after…when we thought we lost you. After Caleb felt what happened to you while you were in surgery, I went for a walk and while I was trying to get some coffee, I was shaking so bad I couldn't get the money in the machine. An older woman came up beside me, she helped me get some coffee, but then she told me…" Dean hesitated.

"She told you what?" Jim was amazed that Emma would have been seen by Dean and Caleb.

"She said that you wouldn't willingly leave us. Jim she was trying to reassure me that you were going to be okay, but I was too wrapped up in thinking we were going to lose you, especially after what Damien felt happen, that it didn't register right away. Then when I tried to follow her, find out who she was, she was gone."

Jim rubbed his hand over his face, "Then you saw her?" Jim looked at Caleb.

The younger man nodded as he spoke, "Outside the ICU, after me and Deuce were let in to see you for the first time. That was a hard time…"

"I didn't handle it very well; I had to leave the room." Dean whispered giving Caleb permission to tell Jim what happened with him.

"When I came out looking for him he was sitting on the floor next to the nurse's station, an older woman was with him. When I looked into her eyes, this…" Caleb pointed to the picture in Jim's hand, "picture flashed in my mind, but I couldn't place her at the time. Then like with Deuce, she said that you were fighting to stay with us, that you would pull through this, afterwards she got up and walked through the lounge door, but when I went to follow, she wasn't there."

Silence filled the room for a few minutes as everyone tried to process what they had seen and heard, Jim's quiet voice broke that silence. "That sound's like Emma. She told me I was scaring you boys…" Jim watched as twin gazes met his, "She also told me that you both were stronger than you realize which of course, I already knew.

Caleb asked, "You saw here too?"

Jim nodded his head, "Three times actually, twice we were hear at the farm, I believe that may have been when my condition was at its most critical. The first time she told me she was here to help me decide if I wanted to stay or go with her."

That revelation caused a fearful expression to cross the younger men's faces as they realized, even more so, just how close they had been to losing Jim.

Jim continued, "The second time I told her how I always tried to make this place somewhere where you boys, especially you Dean, could just be children. The third time I saw here was just before I woke up, she…" Jim's voice cracked as he felt a tear slip free, remembering the last time he had saw and felt the love of his life. "She told me she would wait for me and that I needed to wake up so I would stop worrying you boys." Jim let out a nervous, emotion-filled laugh. "She was probably the only person, outside of my mother, that I would ever listen to and she always knew I couldn't refuse her anything, that's when I woke up and saw you two sleeping, rather uncomfortably in those chairs." Jim smiled.

A yawn caught Jim off guard, as the events of the day were finally catching up with him. Caleb and Dean stood, Caleb sat Emma's picture back on the bedside so Jim could see it. "Do you need anything before we get out of here and let you rest?" Dean asked as Caleb moved the chair back to it's place, knowing that throughout the night both Dean and himself would be up several times to check on the older man, along with the rest of the visitors that were now filling the house.

Jim adjusted the blanket over his right shoulder, the pillows propped under him, helped a little, but with the cast on his leg and arm, it would be a rather uncomfortable night, but at least he was home. "I should be fine, Missouri and Mackland both made sure I took my medication, so as of right now I am feeling no pain."

Caleb smiled, "Yeah, Dad is all about taking you medicine like the doctor says, drives me crazy sometimes." Jim laughed knowing Caleb hated to take pills of any kind as they did a number on his abilities.

Dean moved toward the door, "If you need anything, just yell, one of us will be close by."

"I'll be fine boys, you two need to get some rest yourselves. I'll see you both in the morning." Jim watched as both boys smiled at him and pulled the door closed, but not latching it, just in case he did call out in the night.

Jim settled down, hearing the others moving around down the hall and upstairs above him, he became silent for a moment as a feeling of love washed over him for this eclectic group of people that surrounded him; a gruff Mechanic from South Dakota, a Psychic/Medium from Kansas, A PR reprehensive and Crafter from North Carolina, a prestigious doctor with psychic abilities from New York and his adopted son who, at one time, was a spiraling, out of control pre-teen with powerful psychic abilities that included 'death' visions, then finally a former Marine/ Mechanic from Kansas with one of his son's, to whom family meant everything, who was still reeling from his little brother leaving the family behind to follow the dream of a normal life in California.

Jim smiled to himself as he drifted to sleep. Yes, Jim had and still missed his wife everyday, but he wouldn't trade his new family for anything in this world or the next.

A/N: Well that's it, was it any good? Hope you enjoyed and that my mistakes were able to be overlooked. Until next time, hopefully--Montez


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